Underachievers Anonymous (WAS Gifted children)

[ssk7882]

Cindy wrote:

> I think it is high time someone started an organization for those 
> who are told they could "achieve" more but, for whatever reason, 
> choose not to.  'Cause there are times when we *really* could use 
> some support.  ;-)  

Indeed! (And thanks for the support.)

What always gets to me -- and yeah, this is a pet peeve of mine,
can you tell? -- is that these studies all show that child prodigies
who don't grow up to be eminences in some field or another suffer
from self-esteem problems.  And then they deduce that their school
experiences must have led to both the poor self-esteem *and* the 
underachievement.

It just doesn't make sense to me.  Do people with tested IQs in the 
100-120 range have self-esteem issues that correlate with their 
failure to become Great Eminences?  I doubt it, somehow.  But of
course no one would ever bother to test for that, would they, because
the only people who are ever expected to grow up to save the world are
those who had the misfortune to do well on an IQ test.  

All that said, though, I can't quite bring myself to feel *too* 
bitterly towards old Mr. Stanford.  You see, before the IQ test, they 
had me diagnosed as a high-functioning autist.  So Mr. Stanford 
snatched me right out of the clutches of Mr. Asperger, and I guess 
that I do owe him a bit of thanks for that.

Mr. Stanford was powerless to help me against the later diagnosis of
childhood schizophrenia, though.  But that's a different story.  
<rolls eyes>

> . . . there is a certain choice you can make as an adult 
> that will get you labeled as an underachiever every time.  That 
> choice is the choice to stop working and stay home with your kids.  

Oh, heaven's yes!  Because of course raising children requires 
absolutely no actual work, or the sacrifice of short-term pleasure 
for long-term goals, right?

Hey, it can't be that hard, right?  'Cause *women* do it.

> So when I see us fretting that a gifted child might wind up being 
> an underachiever, I find myself wondering if this is such a 
> terrible thing.  Indeed, I wonder if perhaps we should pay more 
> attention to whether the child will wind up being *happy*, 
> regardless of their so-called achievements.

I agree.  They get related, though, because of the sorts of things
that people seem to think it acceptable to *say* to you, once they
know that you're supposedly Destined For Greatness.  It's a lot like 
the stay-at-home Mom syndrome, actually.  You just can't *believe* 
that these people are being so utterly, so unspeakably *rude,* 
apparently without any comprehension at all that the things they are 
saying are insulting.

"Why are you wasting your talent on that?"

"Wow, you put a lot of work into that.  Now just think of what you 
could accomplish if only you were willing to apply yourself in that 
same way, but to something *real.*"

Something *real?*  I mean, *excuse* me?  I hadn't been aware that my
interests weren't "real."  Silly me, here all this time I had been 
operating under the assumption that they were really, well, 
interesting, and it turns out that they were just figments of my 
imagination all along.

It's just unbelievable, it is, the things that people feel they are 
entitled to say to you.  Not to mention the oh-so-helpful suggestions 
that everyone and his brother has to offer about precisely how you 
ought to be prioritizing your time and energy.

It really is awfully tempting to retaliate in kind.  You know:

"Why don't you take some of that money you've been earning and use it 
to found a homeless shelter?"

"Oh, how nice!  But I must say that I can't understand why you wanted 
to put all of that effort into something that you're just going to 
have published.  I mean, with all of that talent, wouldn't you rather 
be able to share what you're doing with people who can be active
*participants* in the process?"

"Why are you wasting your time getting that silly degree when you 
have so much to offer to the starving children in Rwanda?  You know, 
I understand that the Peace Corp is looking for volunteers..."

"Wow!  With that sort of initiative, I'll bet you could do a *great* 
grand backpacking tour of Europe.  Why don't you quit your job 
already, and go travelling?  After all, surely you can't expect to 
live like this *forever,* can you?"

Oh, yes.  It is tempting at times.


-- Elkins