[HPFGU-OTChatter] offlist re: four-year-olds

[Mary Jennings]

Amy said:

>I do worry about this sometimes.  I love kids of all ages and am
>very good with them, but when I worked in day care, and then later as
>an au pair for two wonderful, creative kids ages 4 and 6, I was SO
>ready for adult conversation at the end of each day.

Ah, good point.  This is where toddler groups come in handy.  They were my 
salvation when my first 2 (12 1/2 months apart) were still very little and 
neither one of them could say *anything*.  Through these groups I met other 
moms who are good friends to this day.  Any type of parent/carer and child 
group is worth checking out.

>People say children have no attention span, but they don't know what 
> >they're talking about.  The four-year-old could happily play Truck 
> >Collision for hours on end, and of course he wanted me to play with >him 
>(shucks, I was hoping to sit nearby reading and saying "uh huh, >nice" 
>whenever he said "BOOM!").

LOL! Reading is difficult in such circumstances (something DH *still* hasn't 
figured out).  But needlecrafts come in very useful in such circumstances.  
After a while of playing I'd stop playing with them directly but watched 
them play while knitting or cross-stitching, of course being very careful 
with the needles and keeping needles and scissors I wasn't using that very 
moment out of reach.  I could still give the kids attention while doing 
something for myself.  That way my time wasn't "wasted" and the kids were 
happy, too.  Or you could do any other activity which doesn't need 100% 
concentration, such as drawing/doodling.

>Maybe this is what people are thinking when they say to stay-at-home
>parents, "aren't you bored?"  Kids are fascinating, but I like to do a
>wide variety of fascinating things each week--just one fascination
>isn't enough <g>.

That's the whole point about getting out with the kids and finding things to 
do.  Most toddler groups I attend(ed) cost less than 1 per session.  Just 
visiting friends and letting the kids play together is great for mums and 
kids.  But lots of childless people don't realize such things as toddler 
groups exist.  Of course, I live in a mid-sized town with reasonable 
amenities; those moms stuck out in rural areas would have a harder time of 
it.  But like everything else, full-time parenting is what you make it out 
to be.  It takes some effort and a bit of money, but the retention of mom's 
sanity makes it all worthwhile.

>I learned a long time ago that I had zero capacity
>for tolerating a boring job, which is why I'm in a job that's actually
>about 8 jobs all mixed together.  When one part of it gets to be too
>much, I can switch to doing a different one for a while.  And when
>I've spent all morning visiting people, I can spend the afternoon
>alone, thinking and reading and writing.
>
>So tell me, am I crazy to want to have kids anyway?

Nope.  Parenting can be much the same as well...just remember to take 
advantage of naptime!  Oh, and *never* pass up an offer from someone who 
wishes to babysit ;)

Mary Ann
(who actually has to leave for Rainbows now)



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