[HPFGU-OTChatter] Re: Boy by Dahl

[Shaun Hately]

On 5 Oct 2002 at 11:35, Emma wrote:

> I'm interested though - you said some people think corporal punishment
> being bad at an impact on bullying - was that supposed to be a good
> impact, or a bad impact. Because I'm sort of ashamed to say that I was
> a bully when I was at school, and I really wish they'd done something
> more than they did to stop me (I went to a "free school" where we got
> away with everything) but I don't think hitting me would have done any
> good at all.

Some people think the impact of abolition, with regards to bullying, was positive, 
others think it was negative - we're talking about a wide range of people with a wide 
range of views here - it's hard to find a consensus on anything. But virtually all 
would agree that you could very well be right that being hit wouldn't have done 
*you* any good.

The thing is, with bullies, you're dealing with a wide range of different types of 
people, with a wide range of 'reasons' for why they are bullies. That's why, in the 
work I do, we try to steer clear of single solutions - there needs to be a range of 
methods of dealing with bullies and bullying, and even methods that work really well 
for some people might be totally inappropriate for others.

I mean, some bullies get that way as a reaction to being physically abused - their 
anger at the abuse provokes them to acts of violence and intimidation against 
others. Hitting a kid who is bullying for that type of reason really seems like a bad 
idea - so even people who think corporal punishment might be a good option for 
some billies, are generally aware that the operative word is *some*, not *all*.

Personal view, I'm afraid I have to say I think corporal punishment for some bullies 
is a good thing. That's primarily based on my own experiences. I spent Year 7 at the 
school from hell, as far as I'm concerned. I was the constant target of bullying - at 
times, by groups of over 200 kids all focused on me. That school really sucked 
when it came to dealing with the problem - they were very 'trendy', they didn't 
believe in disciplining kids, so bullies were never punished, at most, somebody 
'talked to them about their behaviour.' Sickeningly, for me, however, they regarded 
being the victim of bullying as evidence I wasn't trying hard enough to fit in - so for 
being bullied (to the extent that I was eventually found unconscious on the toilet 
floors after a beating), I wound up being punished, while the bullies got away with 
whatever they wanted. I was 12. By midway through the year, I was suicidal, and it 
kept getting worse - and I would have killed myself if I'd had to go back to that 
school the following year.

Fortunately, the one positive thing that school did for me (of course, it wasn't 
intended to be positive - they had labelled me as 'retarded' - even though I was 
getting the highest marks in my year, and they were trying to get that label 
confirmed so they could palm me off to a special school) was insist my parents take 
me to see a psychologist. He identified the real reasons, I was 'different' and made 
a whole bunch of recommendations, which meant that the following year, I started 
at a new, very traditional, very snobby, private school. I loved it. As an aside, I think 
it's one reason why HP appealed to me, the parallels, I see. Kid who has faced 
abuse (fortunately, in my case, not from family), suddenly finds out he is 'different' 
and 'special' and escapes the dismal education he faced (yes, I did have my head 
flushed down toilets more than once - it actually wasn't that bad if you remained 
calm - not that I ever managed to for more than three flushes), and finds himself in 
a school which seems so wonderful - wow, I felt that. I loved it. That year, when I 
was 13, was probably the only year of my childhood that I was ever *truly* happy (I 
had to move on to the senior school at the end of that year - which was merely 
good, as opposed to brilliant). Back to my point. The thing is, at this new school, 
there was bullying - but when bullies were caught, they *were* punished. And if what 
they did, was at all major, they could be whacked. And the system worked. The 
system made me feel safe. In a very real sense, it may have saved my life. So, end 
result - I just about have to say I think corporal punishment is a good thing when 
dealing with some bullies - because the only way I could deny that, would be to 
deny my own experiences.

I don't think it's the only way - and one of the reasons, I think that school was 
brilliant was because it wasn't the only thing they used. They made real efforts to 
identify individual problems, whatever they were, and deal with them as individuals. 
Corporal punishment was one option - one among many. For some kids, it worked - 
it stopped them.

There needs to be a range of methods. You can't say any one thing is 'good' or 'bad' 
IMHO - you need to look at all the variables, and ideally, consider the person being 
dealt with as an individual.

And, BTW, I was also on the receiving end of both the strap and the cane - it's not 
like I'm seeing this entirely from one side. The behaviours they were addressing 
with me, wasn't being a bully - but for me, they worked.

Yours Without Wax, Dreadnought
Shaun Hately |webpage: http://www.alphalink.com.au/~drednort/thelab.html
(ISTJ)       |email: drednort at alphalink.com.au | ICQ: 6898200
"You know the very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in
common. They don't alter their views to fit the facts. They alter
the facts to fit the views. Which can be uncomfortable if you happen
to be one of the facts that need altering." The Doctor - Doctor Who:
The Face of Evil | Where am I: Frankston, Victoria, Australia