You are not a winner

[Amanda Geist]

My antique monitor looked decidely peaked this morning. You know how
computers always look when they're in the background on TV shots? The
horizontal light bars rolling repeatedly up or down the screen? I think it's
the "refresh" of the screen, which our eyes cannot catch but the cameras
can. Anyway, my monitor was really, visibly, doing it. Gray horizontal bars.
And it was dim, and very out of focus, and the bright and contrast were as
fooled with as they could be. You could almost hear it wheezing.

So. Perhaps it has not been, as I have callously been suggesting, my
husband's eyes, when he's been complaining about being able to see his game.
Perhaps it is the fact that this monitor is, oh, about eleven years old. I
bought it when color monitors were new and wonderful, with my first
computer, purchased for use upon my return to college to finish my degree
soon after we were married. Subsequent upgrades have not included new
monitors because I am cheap and I already had a perfectly good one.

Oh, but this was a frightening prospect, having no monitor. I do have an old
one of my dad's out in the garage, but it's a black and white one, even
older than this one, and it runs on hamsters and I'm fresh out. So I made a
Major Decision. A couple of bills will be late and we will *not* do anything
wonderful on our anniversary tomorrow (which was not to be too wonderful
anyway, probably a dinner out with all three kids since we have no sitter),
and I'll pay the preschool tuition late, and I bought a new monitor.

Imagine my surprise! They're all 17 inches now; the size that was the top of
the line and cutting-edge when I was last out buying computers, is now the
bare minimum. Everything's so much *bigger* than it was. It almost didn't
fit into on the slot in my computer hutch. I bought the cheapest there was,
and got a new mouse, and the novelty of being able to see better and more
clearly coupled with being able to move my cursor without having to shake
and hit the mouse is just overwhelming me.

So, this is basically to let all of you know that you damn near won the list
lottery--I almost was out of your online lives, with the demise of the
monitor--but being the prodigal soul that I am, you're *stuck* with me!
(laughs demonically).

--Amanda, who was accompanied on this monitor-buying trip by her son Tomek,
who was wired from having just been to select his Halloween costume (Tinky
Winky) and to the mall to buy his little brother's (Buzz Lightyear) and was
loud and fast and into every button he could find in the computer store, and
thus she really just went in and grabbed the first cheap monitor that
wandered by and got the hell out of there