The monsters strike again!

[Mecki]

Hi!

I'm Andi, Mecki's husband.
Do you remember me? Last year in April I sent a death-notice to this 
group after my sons 3rd Birthday.
(Wife killed by little monsters)
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HPFGU-OTChatter/message/10422

And my wife added a totally exaggerated detail report.
(I'm dead)
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HPFGU-OTChatter/message/10424


Well, birthdays tend to repeat themselves once a year.
This year, unfortunately, April 11th was a Friday. Unfortunately 
because on Friday work stops at noon.
My selfish boss wanted to go on a weekend trip and refused to let me 
work late (sigh).
So this year I was at home when the monsters came!

And monsters they were indeed. Last year, despite my wife's 
description, they had been innocent 3-year olds, but now they were 
four! And the first year of kindergarten has changed everything. Now 
they knew what they were doing!
When both parents are available, boys at birthday-parties separate
the 
duties. Mums are responsible for food, drink, and general well-being. 
Dads however are responsible for the fun. They are used as a 
punching-ball, a motor for the tricycle, a horse, or an animator for 
organised games(and beware if you run out of ideas)
-- I'll ignore comments that my wife had to cope with BOTH chores for 
BOTH kids-birthdays in the last 2 years. (She's a MUM, that's her 
job!)

The noise was incredible, their speed very impressing, their
endurance 
amazing and I must admit I under-estimated the strength of their
fists 
and elbows(who says little kids fists don't hurt, it depends where 
they hit, doesn't it?).

Luckily, my wife had made a list of games suitable for small children 
and had purchased the prizes needed, thus showing more intelligence I 
had expected of her ( as I had remarked in my previous letter, I did 
expect her being an extreme Harry-Potter fan to have caused severe 
brain-damage). And she managed to be jury, cheerleader, cook,
waitress 
and complain-center (Julian got a toy snake, I don't want the
frog..., 
I don't like Apple-juice, I want lemonade.. etc.) at the same time. 
But hey, she's used to something like that! I'm not!

One of the wildest boys didn't quite cope with the amount of sweets
in 
his stomach when he used the swing. Instead of staying where he was
to 
do what he must, he had tried to reach the toilet, but failed! And of 
course, my wife was busy with frying-pan and deep-fry, and she wanted 
ME to clean up the boy and the bathroom!! NO WAY! That is most 
definitely Woman's work! I mean, it smells, it's all over the place.. 
So I snatched the pan and sent her to do the job.

I stood to the rest of the afternoon as well as I could. After four 
exhausting hours most of the children were collected by their mothers 
( I tried to convince them to take mine too, but they refused)
And am proud to declare I prevented the total ruin of the house!
Okay, 
except for the mess, but what are wives for?
I took the snow-shovel out of the garaged and made a small path 
between kitchen and living-room. Then I gave the shovel to my wife, 
left the rest to her, and dropped dead in front of the TV.

Just when I promised myself to avoid children's birthdays for the
rest 
of my life, my wife whispered gently into my ear "Next year, honey, 
both kids have their birthdays on SUNDAYS(shriek!)"
And to top it all, sh added "Oh, this year, Martens birthday was FUN! 
It is so much easier, when you're not doing it all alone!" THAT was 
easy? Oh my G...

Okay, that's it! I've had enough! I'm joining the Foreign Legion
first 
thing tomorrow morning.Never, never again will someone find me within 
1000miles near my home when my kids have their birthday!

I promise!

Andi, Mecki's husband