Gay vs Straight Marriage - Yes or No Poll

[psychic_serpent]

--- In HPFGU-OTChatter at yahoogroups.com, "Amanda Geist" <editor at t...> 
wrote:
>  What I don't like is two gay people who only
> want their marriage recognized so they can get tax breaks filing 
> jointly, or to be able to "get" something. That sort of thing came 
> into being to help ease the burden of raising children, which most 
> gay couples aren't doing.

I'm a trifle confused by this.  Are you against mixed-gender couples 
marrying to "get" something?  This goes on all of the time, yet 
couples consisting of a man and a woman can get married at the drop 
of a hat with no problem.  I think that some mixed-gender couples 
get married for absolutely APPALLING reasons, but just because some 
same-gender couples may also get married for what some people would 
consider to be the 'wrong' reasons, that's no reason to disallow 
same-gender couples from marrying.  Equality is equality.  Mixed-
gender and same-gender couples should have the same legal right to 
screw up their lives and marry the wrong people for the wrong 
reasons, and the same legal right to pay over-priced divorce lawyers 
to get out of it again. ;)

> Which is why they're well-dressed and speeding past me in their 
> Hummers, while I trundle along in my low-end Saturn with the 
> handprints and stickers all over the windows (DINK envy, sorry; 
> and I know darn well it's not confined to gay couples). The point 
> is, I hear way too much "we should get the same stuff hetero 
> marriages get" without (in most cases) a commensurate
> burden. If it's about *getting,* I think the intent is misplaced.

Um, I have to say, I'm finding many of the stereotypes in the above 
patently offensive.  It is a stereotype that all gays are rich white 
males around the age of 42 with expensive cars and homes and no 
responsibility to anyone but their show cats or dogs.  It is also a 
stereotype to say that all married people are couples struggling to 
raise kids.  In fact, most married people in this country do not 
have children (the "burden" to which you seem to be referring).  
Should we forbid people to marry who cannot have children or who do 
not plan to?  Should we forbid elderly couples who meet in 
retirement homes to marry if they so choose?  

I know loads of gay couples raising kids for various reasons 
(children from previous mixed-gender marriages, children they had 
intentionally during the same-gender partnership, adopted children, 
children of relatives who died, etc.).  These couples with kids 
can't even, in many states, be considered a family.  Very few states 
allow second-parent adoption.  Only one of the parents is legally 
recognized and the other has no right to make medical decisions for 
the kids or even to stand in at a parent-teacher conference at 
school, and if the couple does break up, the parent with no legal 
connections to the kids cannot even get visitation rights, let alone 
fight to be the custodial parent, even if he/she has been the 
primary caregiver.  And while you might say, "Oh, well, those folks 
can get married then," this "parenting" litmus test doesn't exist 
for mixed-gender couples, so why should it exist for same-gender 
couples?  Again, equality is equality.

--Barb

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