Christmas Conjugations

[junediamanti]

Having spent a weekend up and down ladders, doing the tree thing, 
etc.  thought I would post a few snippets from a very amusing article 
by Craig Brown in Saturday's Daily Telegraph newspaper.

(The first para is me, though)
Back in the days when dinosaurs ruled the earth, and I was at school, 
such matters as verb conjugation WERE important because we were 
actually taught english grammar, and not only that, we learned latin 
verbs too.  And I offer the following insult that we used to say:
Sum - I am a gentleman
Es - thou art a fool
Est - he is a stinky bomb who's stinking up the school.
Childish but an educated type insult. So much more civilised than the 
probably sweary invective of today.

Craig's article takes the above further:

1.  I disapprove of rampant consumerism
    You cut back on presents
    He is a Scrooge.

2.  I break the ice
    You break the glasses
    He breaks wind.

3.  I did myself proud
    You didn't hold back
    He is a greedy pig.

4.  I greet
    You pounce
    He gropes

5.  I am childlike
    You are childish
    He is infantile.

6.  I like to add last-minute touches
    You fuss
    They panic.

7.  I am effervescent
    You are bubbly
    She is pissed 

    (In the English meaning of drunk rather that the US meaning of 
annoyed - JD)

8.  I have had one too many
    You have had one too many
    He one many had too.

9.  We discuss
    You argue
    They row.

10.  Our turkey served us well
     Your turkey kept going
     They were still eating turkey in February.

11.  Our tree is festive
     Your tree is colourful
     Their tree is common.

(Common is an english pejorative for "vulgar"- JD)

June.  Now living in festive grotto type surroundings.