Destroying the past

[dudemom_2000]

--- In HPFGU-OTChatter at yahoogroups.com, "Shaun Hately" 
<drednort at a...> wrote:
> I went for a walk today - a nice long walk, through some of the 
> area I grew up in. I felt myself drawn to a memorial to a girl I 
> knew who was murdered a little over ten years ago. And seeing I was
> then in that area, I decided to walk past the school she attended -
> which was the same school I attended in 1987 when I was 12 years 
> old and in 'Year 7' of school. I generally refer to it as the 
> school from hell - I went in a fairly outgoing and happy child - 
> and came out 10 months later physically and emotionally scarred, 
> nursing a deep, deep depression, and ready to kill myself rather 
> than go back there.
> 
> It's not a place I have exactly wanted to revisit. But I decided to
> take a look at it.
> 
> The school's spread out along a fairly long road - it's a very 
> narrow school, but a rather long one - so I had quite a long walk 
> alongside it. It hadn't changed much from what I could see.
> 
> I approached it from what was the 'senior school' end when I was 
> there and had to walk down it's entire length before I got to the 
> junior school area which was where I suffered so much abuse and 
> pain. As I passed the old Year 8 block (which I only ever entered 
> for some elective subjects) I felt my heart beginning to pound, I 
> actually began to sweat. Feelings of pain began to resurface just 
> be being in close proximity to the places where I was hurt so 
> much. I almost turned back - but I approached the old 'Year 7'    
> block anyway.
> 
> And it wasn't there. The buildings where I was beaten up every 
day, while teachers watched - where teachers labelled me as mentally 
> retarded because I didn't fit their moulds, where I was left 
> unconscious on the toilet floors - and where they decided to 
punish me for that... was gone. They'd demolished it. And replaced 
it with tennis courts.
> 
> That felt SO good (well, apart from the realisation that now I 
> could never fulfill my dream of burning it to the ground 
personally (yes, I'm kidding - but I wasn't when that was a dream). 
It exorcised some - not all, not most, but some - of the demons I've 
> been carrying around for the last 16 years.
> 
> I just had to share those feelings.
> 
> 
> Yours Without Wax, Dreadnought
> Shaun Hately | www.alphalink.com.au/~drednort/thelab.html
> (ISTJ)       | drednort at a... | ICQ: 6898200 
> "You know the very powerful and the very stupid have one
> thing in common. They don't alter their views to fit the 
> facts. They alter the facts to fit the views. Which can be 
> uncomfortable if you happen to be one of the facts that 
> need altering." The Doctor - Doctor Who: The Face of Evil
> Where am I: Frankston, Victoria, Australia

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As Roland the Gunslinger (Steven King) says: "The world has moved 
on..." Even if the school wasn't torn down, time eventually helps us 
to deal with things or at least softens them a bit. Even though I 
haven't forgotten hurtful things that have happened to me, they have 
lost their power to harm me further. To see the symbol of such awful 
acts destroyed is a powerful validation of your suvival and managing 
to rise above it! Best Wishes.

Dudemom_2000

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