Fun with Apostrophes (LONG)

[GulPlum <plumeski@yahoo.com>]

Thanks to everyone who replied to my original query (and those who 
chose to reply be email rather than to the list). Thanks also for 
getting my point that I wasn't out to offend anyone. Of the many 
replies, I've chosen to use Barb's as the basis for my reply because 
she raises a few issues in which I'm interested. I will, however, add 
some comments on a few other things people have said.

> There have in the past been folks on the main list who criticized 
> JKR's command of English, but for the life of me I can't recall the 
> specific complaints now.  A search of the archives may net you some 
> information on what some have found objectionable in her writing 
> style.

I don't know about "people", but I certainly remember one person in 
particular, as my reply to his comments (in mid-January last year) 
was my first post on the main list. :-) His principal argument was a 
tirade against JKR's use of "they" (and derivatives) as non-gender, 
non-number specific (traditionally, it has been exclusively plural, 
whereas nowadays it is considered an acceptable replacement for the 
messy "he/she" and variations, which he didn't seem to appreciate). 
Other complaints he had were were all "mis-translations" from the 
British to American editions, and the one he considered most serious 
and highlighted for ridicule was about a complicated sentence which 
included an unnecessary comma (though he chose to consider the whole 
sentence as ungrammatical rather than question the comma's 
insertion). 

(BTW all the above is from memory; I don't have the heart or time to 
battle Yahoomort to pull up the message.)

> Well, I don't know about "talking down."  But I do think you're 
> making an assumption that the problem is with the schools in a 
given 
> country rather than with the individuals involved.  

Ah-hah! <evil grin> You (and others) fell into a deliberate trap I 
laid in the way I phrased my question (you wouldn't believe how long 
it took me to put it *just* the right way). I didn't mean to question 
the American system, I just wanted to know whether or not *like here 
in the UK* these issues have lost importance in schools. I 
deliberately left the comparison out because I wanted to put American 
listees on the defensive and thus encourage more responses - I know 
from experience that nothing beats questioning America's greatness to 
get Americans to defend it. :-) As it happens, I didn't (and don't) 
question America's greatness, but left a deliberate suggestion which 
made such an accusation a reasonable reading (I made a series of 
unconnected statements, and left readers to join the dots...). I do 
apologise for the trap, but it's certainly paid off. 

Just looking around me, I see that Brits have exactly the same 
problem, and it's self-perpetuating. If teachers don't know the 
rules, how on earth are they to pass them on to the next generation? 

An example very close to me: my 22 year-old niece has just completed 
a liberal arts ("tourism and travel" or something like that) Masters 
and is now going on to train as a teacher - her plan is to move to 
Spain and teach English. The problem is that her latest dissertation 
(which she asked me to correct for her) was written in disastrous 
English and I don't think there was a single correctly-placed 
apostrophe in all 15 pages. She commented that her lecturer probably 
wouldn't have noticed anyway. 

Another example: two years ago, I was engaged as a translator by a 
prestigious London legal firm for a certain case (I won't bother you 
with the complicated details which hinged on an incompetent 
interpreter). The three-page letter to me which explained the 
circumstances and what they wanted from me had spelling, punctuation 
or syntactical errors in EVERY SINGLE SENTENCE. Some of these errors 
made the text ambiguous or incomprehensible. Considering lawyering is 
all about precision and clear expression, I questioned the lawyer's 
competence: if not in his own use of language, then in his choice of 
typist and his misplaced trust in her talents.

I really do despair.

<snip>

<Re: FA submission rules>

> The other Unforgivable is misspelling major canon 
> characters' names to such an extent that it would be a heinous 
> burden on our coders to correct the problem.  I have seen 
> many "imaginative" versions of our beloved HP characters' names.  
> Trust me.  You don't want to know.

I've seen enough in various HP forums, I get the drift. :-) Don't get 
me started! I must admit that I find this kind of error not only 
unforgivable, but incomprehensible. I mean, surely the authors of 
these fanfics have read the books? How is it possible to have read 
the books and not know that Harry's mum's name is Lily, or how to 
spell McGonagall? (posts inter alia on the main HPFGU list in the 24 
hours make those particular examples spring to mind). This isn't a 
question of education or knowledge, it's a question of 
straightforward repetition. How can people who claim to have read all 
the books several times not have noticed the spelling of frequent 
proper names? I'm prepared to offer a little leeway to people who 
read the books in one of the (few) translations which also translated 
the names, but even so, if these people are attempting to write 
stories in English, they should as a very basic necessity have been 
able to have read the books in that language.

<snip>

> I believe that the web is probably a more likely culprit 
> for this bad grammar and punctuation than the schools in any one 
> country.  While we did encounter (at FA) some folks who actually 
> said their English teachers taught them the wrong way to punctuate 
> dialogue (HOW did they become teachers?) there are so many people 
> reading things online written in incorrect English, whether on 
> mailing lists, bulletin boards or fanfiction archives, that they're 
> having the incorrect forms reinforced in their minds instead of the 
> correct forms.  

Mush as I love (and have benefitted from) the ease of online 
publication, I do agree that we are currently in a self-perpetuating 
maelstrom of lax language: kids don't read enough properly-written 
material taught by teachers who generally appear not to have a clue 
(because they're of a generation which wasn't taught the importance 
of correct language themselves). When I politely suggested to the 
teenage author of an otherwise terrific website with whom I'd had 
previous correspondence that he might want to put his text through a 
spell-checker, he simply couldn't understand *why*.

Some people have suggested that an apostrophe followed by the 
letter "s" is sometimes considered grammatical. I have yet to 
encounter anyone with the faintest idea of what they're talking about 
who might consider this appropriate. It's true that grammar and 
spelling aren't fixed but evolve over time, but apostrophes are 
unlikely to disappear from *correct* usage any time soon. People who 
have never learned to use them correctly are (thankfully) still in a 
minority when it comes to the professionally published word (and 
cerainly academia) and the "better" schools still churn out pupils 
with a reasonable standard of knowledge of these things. It's 
interesting that of the posters who replied in this thread, the 
majority choose to label themselves as "grammar purists" (or 
similar): I'm not sure whether or not this is a distorted view 
because people who don't know any better are too embarassed to reply, 
but it is nevertheless a sign that the battle is not yet quite lost.

I'm not conversant enough with American youth culture, but certainly 
here in the UK the main "culprit" in changing language use is not the 
internet, but text messaging (aka TXT MSGNG) :-) on cell phones, 
which is particularly popular with teenagers (and with me, as it 
happens). On my handset, for instance, displaying an apostrophe takes 
*13* presses of a particular key. I am the only person I know who 
insists on correct apostrophe usage in SMSes and I frequently get 
comments about it. The fact is that their usage is so deeply 
ingrained in my written English that I am physically incapable of 
skipping them. 

Correct apostrophe placement isn't an issue of formal or informal 
usage. Apostrophes have a vital role to play in meaning in English, 
and as informal as one might get, one cannot escape the difference 
they make. Even the most informal message suffers from their abuse 
and frankly, they become even MORE important as so much informal 
English consists of relaxed grammar, and thus syntax and punctuation 
become even mor important.

As far as online communication goes; sure, we're all informal and 
don't bother proof-reading what we write as much as we would do with 
letters; I make enough typos myself to be forgiving of others; the 
odd misplaced character is one thing, but when people consistently 
misapply the rules, I'm less inclined to believe that it's because of 
relaxation.

What gets me the most about apostrophe misuse is that unlike almost 
any other element of English writing (spelling, style, syntax, 
grammar, etc), the rules on apostrophe placement are: 

A) UNIVERSAL: all flavours of English, from Europe through Africa and 
Asia, through the Pacific and across the Americas, have identical 
rules governing the placement of apostrophes. 

B) SIMPLE and WITHOUT EXCEPTIONS. Some people claim that "its" is an 
exception, but it's (sic!) not that straighforward, and most 
textbooks mis-state the case by attempting to over-simplify it. The 
fact is that all personal pronouns in English are formed individually 
and irregularly, and that's why possessive pronouns do not take 
apostrophes (its, yours, his, hers, theirs, ours, etc - if one 
wouldn't write "the cat is in hi's box", why on earth would one write 
"the cat is in it's box"?). If you want/need a summary of the rules, 
see for instance http://www.apostrophe.fsnet.co.uk (regrettably, 
although the rules are well summarised, this site is one of those 
which confuses the "its" issue; I suggested over a year ago that they 
might want to change it, and despite a promise to do so, they haven't 
done anything about it). 

On that note, I think I'll climb down off my soap-box. I've gone on 
for long enough and it's time I was off to bed...