Earliest Memories of the World Outside (was Forcing Kids To Watch History Made)

ssk7882 <skelkins@attbi.com> skelkins at attbi.com
Fri Feb 28 07:03:36 UTC 2003


Eileen wrote:
> Only one thing for sure. I was never anything but a model student 
> through school because of the cameras. . . . Of course, once I 
> discovered that the cameras didn't exist, I was too stuck in my 
> ways to start thumbing my nose at the authorities. 

Torsten wrote:
> Interesting. My cameras didn't stop me from doing anything, they 
> only made me feel double ashamed afterwards if I did something 
> 'wrong' ...

Heh.  What *my* cameras did was to cause me to tell small lies to my 
parents about insignificant things from time to time -- just to see 
if I could trick them into giving themselves away.  I'd say that I'd 
spent the afternoon playing with my toy dinosaurs, for example, when 
I'd actually been reading a book.  And then I'd scrutinize their 
faces, to see if they would betray themselves with any signs of 
surprise or disbelief.

It was, of course, a most unwise strategy.  All that I was really
accomplishing was teaching *them* how to recognize *my* tells.  But 
hey.  How much strategic brilliance can any little kid really be 
expected to have?

Eileen:
> But then, as you suggested, perhaps I dreamed the cameras up 
> because I have a rule-abiding personality. 

Actually, you know, I eventually concluded that I had dreamed mine up 
because I have just the reverse?

In fact, even though as it turned out I was right about the cameras, 
I *still* think that I probably predicted them because I have a 
somewhat oppositional personality.  Or perhaps just a profoundly 
egocentric one.  Or perhaps just because I really was slightly mad as
a child.

Fortunately, not all of my childhood delusions proved true.  There 
was a smooth roundish boulder in the woods near the house that I used 
to believe was Evil.  It was some glacial relic, much paler than all 
of the other various rocks and outcroppings that littered that part 
of the woods, and it had an indentation just the right shape to serve 
as a kind of a seat; in dim lighting, it seemed to gleam.  It scared 
me.  I called it "The Throne of the Bone" and believed that it was 
the ancient chair of some malign spirit.  I was absolutely convinced 
that it was trying to lure me into sitting down on it, but that if I 
ever once succumbed, it would be able to possess me and control my 
mind.

Naturally, that one was just plain silly.  

Still.  I never actually *did* sit down on that rock, did I?

Torsten sniffed to the Catlady:
> Yeah, that's right. Laughing about poor kids growing up in a Big 
> Brother world. *sniff* To teach how it's like I installed some 
> cameras in your house, and no, they're not behind the sprinklers.

Psssst!  Catlady!

<looks both ways, lowers voice>

Check the smoke detector. 

Oh, and hey, Torsten, cut me into the feed, will you?  I want to see
all the kitties.

Ah, cameras...  You know, I had a co-worker several years back who 
fully believed that the television manufacturers place cameras in all 
their television sets to monitor the spending habits of consumers?

Seriously.  She really, truly believed this.  Absolutely nothing that 
I could say could dissuade her of the notion.  Nothing.  It used to 
drive me nuts.

"That's an urban myth," I told her.  

She didn't believe me.

"I'm pretty sure it's even in one of whatshisname's books.  You 
know.  That urban myth guy?"

She didn't care.

"Look!" I said.  "Look!  See here?  It *is.*  It's a recognized urban 
myth.  Been around since the 70s, it seems."

She still believed it.

"It wouldn't even be a cost-effective way to *come* by that 
information," I said.  "Just think of how much it would *cost!*  
What kind of *technology* are they supposed to be using to do this, 
anyway?  You're suggesting that these cameras require...well, no wire 
feeds, right?  And they still work, no matter how many times you move 
your TV around?  They just keep on beaming signal back to Paranoia 
Headquarters?  I mean, think about it, will you?"

She wasn't impressed.

"And who would be *monitoring* all that stuff, anyway?" I demanded.  
"You think there are entire *offices* full of employees doing this, 
perhaps?  Buildings full of people watching other people watch TV?"

She shrugged.

"Can you even *imagine* how many people that would employ?" I asked 
her.  "Can you honestly believe that if that were really true, then 
not one of them would have spilled the beans by now?  That this has 
been going on for years, without anyone breaking silence?  That every 
last one of these employees of the Television Police are adhering to 
*confidentiality agreements* or something?  How much do you think 
they could possibly be *paying* those guys, anyway?"

She was not swayed.

"Can't you even see that this doesn't make any SENSE?" I said. "It
just doesn't fit together.  How can you--"

"Why are you getting so upset over this?" she asked me.

"I AM NOT ***UPSET***!" I screamed.



Elkins, who never cared much for TV anyway






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