Couplethink Rant

[Judy <judyshapiro@directvinternet.com>]

Elkins started off her Couplethink rant by saying:
> Oh, I don't like that romantic paradigm.  No, sir.  I don't
> like it at all.

and continued on to:
> In the end, it turns people who were once charming, intelligent, 
> interesting individuals into scary, inexplicable, boring, 
> brainwashed, Hollow Man *POD PEOPLE* with eyes as dead and 
> as empty as those of the Dementor Kiss'd.  And who then want 
> nothing more than for *you* to become a pod person too.  Just 
> like them.  Because oh, don't you see?  You'll be ever so much 
> *happier* that way!...

I just have to say this: Elkins, let me guess -- your husband feels
*exactly* the same way, right?  

I've tried to figure out how much of Elkins' analysis applies to my
own marriage.  Not much, fortunately.  My husband does try to change
me, but when he succeeds, it's been for the better.  For example, he's
convinced me that just because something goes wrong, doesn't
necessarily mean that anyone is at fault.  On the other hand, he
hasn't managed to do anything about my tendancy to stay up all night
(look at the time of this post!) which is a shame.  We don't whine
about each other, because we are happy with each other.  (Um, er, we
do tend to talk in the first person plural though, or at least we --
oops, I meant *I* -- do.)

But, I bet Elkins will agree with one of my pet peeves.  I despise the
phrase "significant other" when used to mean "sexual partner."  (It's
OK in its original sociological sense of all close relationships,
including non-sexual ones.)  What, if you aren't in a sexual
realtionship, that means you are insignificant by definition?  

Melody, I think I read Elkin's post differently than you did.  I read
it as a complaint against all the social pressure put on people to
pair up, rather than a statement that romantic relationships
themselves are necessarily bad. 

-- Judy, who is tired and is thinking of going to pod