Gay genetics, slash and the right to hate

[Morrigan]

-----Original Message-----
From: meira_q <mb2910 at hotmail.com>

>It isn't a *conscious and willing* choice. People don't sit and
>ponder "do I want to be gay or straight?" "do I want to be right
>handed or left handed?" "do I want to like or hate mushrooms on my
>pizza?"

This much I can agree with.

>You just do. And those are your preferences.
>Imagine a gay man. Naturally, he will prefer having a relationship
>with another man, and not with a woman.  How would you call that if
>not "preferences"?

Not preferences, that's for certain.  Here is the dictionary definition of
"preference" for you: "The right or chance to so choose."

Sexual orientation is NOT a choice.  Not only does the scientific research
back this up, but how can you argue with millions of people who have this
very experience?  I know that I didn't choose to be queer, and of the
numerous friends I have who are also queer, none of them have ever expressed
that they chose to be queer.  Why would anyone do that?  Because despite the
changes we have seen in society - and there have been HUGE strides in the
past 10 years alone - it is still not something you would WANT to be.

>He can choose whether to have a relationship with a man or with a woman.

Oh really?  I beg to differ.  I'd like you to think for a moment, if you are
in fact heterosexual, and imagine choosing a woman as your sexual and
romantic partner instead of a man.  Could you do it and feel you were being
true to yourself?  Could you do it at all?

This isn't to say it can't and hasn't been done.  There are plenty of
examples of people who went against what they wanted and felt was right and
got married and had basically an empty shell of a life for themselves, until
later in life they decided they couldn't live like that any longer.  I can
think of very little worse than spending my life pretending to be something
I'm not, and I wouldn't wish that on anyone, regardless of whether or not it
makes society sleep better at night.

Love is a complicated thing without even bringing sexual orientation into
the mix.  But isn't it worth it to do it the way you know is right for you,
and not the way society thinks you should?  Shouldn't our first love always
be ourselves, and therefore we must be true to ourselves?

>Since I'm not a native English speaker, I might not be aware of the
>existance of a word that better describes this than "preferences". I
>am always willing to increase my vocabulary...

Considering that you used "choice" and "preference" interchangably, I don't
think it's a matter of your vocabulary.  I think it's a lack of comphrension
on your part.  And I don't know if I've helped any with that or not, but I
hope so.  I don't think you're a bad person or trying to be argumentative, I
just don't think you quite understand.

Morrigan
www.RestrictedSection.org - STILL PROUD
www.livejournal.com/users/hermorrine
www.byz.org/~morrigan/hpslash.html