Application for a post at Hogwarts

[David]

> Are they hiring? I am so sick of my administartion!!  I would love 
to 
> move across the pond!

Dear Wendy,

Your Owl was most gratefully received a few minutes ago.  I am 
delighted to tell you that we do in fact have a vacant teaching post 
at Hogwarts, for a Professor in Defence Against the Dark Arts.

The requirements for the post are as follows:

a firm commitment to fight against the Lord Voldemort and his 
followers - as long as we are against him we are on the same side;

willingness to co-operate with the Hogwarts teaching staff, 
particularly Professor Snape, the Potions Master;

a passion for Quidditch (support for Puddlemere United, while 
desirable, is not necessary);

enjoyment of the school song.

Competence in Defence Against the Dark Arts and an ability to teach 
and motivate children effectively, while considered helpful, are 
negotiable and have often been dispensed with in the past.

I look forward to receiving your completed curriculum vitae.

Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!

Albus Dumbledore

PS, at his insistence I enclose a disclaimer from Cornelius Fudge

From: Fudge, Cornelius, Minister for Magic
To: Whom it may concern
cc: Umbridge, Dolores; Malfoy, Lucius

The Ministry of Magic cannot be held liable in the event of premature 
death, memory loss, constructive dismissal, kidnapping and 
impersonation, or inter-species harrasment.  All Hogwarts teaching 
posts are at employee's own risk.  Albus Dumbledore is an obsolete 
dingbat.

Have a nice day!