Parental advisories - 5 Stars to You

[Steve]

--- In HPFGU-OTChatter at yahoogroups.com, "jillily3g" <jillily3g at y...>
wrote:
>
> ...edited...
> 
> I find it increasingly challenging to walk the line between 
> overprotecting her and not overexposing her to the evils of the 
> world. For example, last year she noticed that _A Child Called It_ 
> was being passed around some of her classmates. She asked me if she 
> could read it, too. (She asked! I was so thrilled.) I did what I do 
> with movies I'm unsure of: I researched it. I told her that from 
> what I understood, it was a pretty graphic depiction of abuse and I 
> really would prefer that she waited until she was older. She wasn't 
> happy, but as far as I know (and that's the sticking point, isn't 
> it), she didn't read it. 
> 
> Was I wrong to "censor" her? ...edited...
> 
> Beth, 

bboy_mn:

First, let me retitle this post 'Lessons in Good Parenting'.

You asked, "Was I wrong to 'censor' her?". 

You didn't, you did what any good parent should have and would have
done. Instead of censoring her, you gave her guidance.

Let's go step by step.

1.) She asked! WOO-HOO!
That tells me you've been doing something right the whole time. I'm
guessing you give your kids a great deal of freedom, but make it clear
that there are boundaries and limits to this freedom. 

It's the second part that most parents fail at. They give the kids a
great deal of freedom, but never set any reasonable boundaries.
Usually, under the belief that kids will gravitate toward anything
they. the parents, forbid, and rebel against any restriction. But if
you never set limits, or clearly state your values, how are kids ever
going to know. If you (meaning parents in general) state your values
and limites, and your reasons then at least your kids have that
guideline. In the end, they will make their own decision, but at least
you've given them a reference point.

So without a doubt, you are doing something right.

2.) You researched it. No decision better than an informed decision.

3.) You explained it. You didn't just say NO, you did your research,
found things that were objectionable, sat your kid down and explained
why you felt this wasn't appropriate. You had sound locigal reasons
and you explained them. 

4.) You didn't tell her what she HAD to do, you told her what you
WANTED her to do, then left the decision to her. 

It's amazing how clear values, a clear reasonable explaination, an
sign of trust, and a statement of your desire will lead kids into
making the right decision.

Isn't that how it's suppose to work?

***** 5 stars to you for excellence in parenting.

bboy_mn