Comic Relief

[gulplum]

For the last few weeks, since everyone started talking about "Harry 
Potter and The Secret Chamber Port of Azerbaijan", my expectations 
have been pretty low. 

However, having just watched Part Two, I'm still convulsing just 
thinking about it. My video capture card isn't working right now so I 
can't do it, but I'm sure it'll get posted online *somewhere* very 
soon. In the meantime, a few comments.

Most of the jokes will go *straight* over the heads of non-UK 
viewers; a knowledge of TV characters and the actors who play them is 
required to "get" several of the jokes.

Three "people" non-Brits might not know about, to understand the 
casting:

Ronnie Corbett (e.g. http://www.phill.co.uk/people/c/corbett.html) - 
something that article doesn't make clear is that Ronnie is probably 
the UK's most famous "little person" (I don't know tall he is, but 
it's no more than 5ft); his specs are part of his public persona, 
hence he's always wearing specs in this.

Alex Ferns (e.g. 
http://www.bbc.co.uk/eastenders/characters/trevor_m_biog.shtml) - 
plays a major character in BBC soap EastEnders (the link is to his 
character's biography). The character is one of the nastiest people 
on British TV (his wife-beating was a major EastEnders storyline 
which made it even to my consciousness, and I don't watch it!).

Basil Brush (e.g. 
http://www.flicks.com/~martin/basil_brush/basil.htm) - I really have 
nothing to add to that, other than to mention that "he" is a glove 
puppet who'd already been around for years when I was a kid. 

(two hours later...) :-)

Anyway, a few of the highlights:

JKR (the real one) doing an intro for the skit. "Comic Relief is 
great. This is not. Do Not Watch This."

Jennifer Saunders doing Ron (both in the "movie" and the on-set 
interviews etc) solely with facial expressions, screams and grunts. 
Not a single word. Although it grew a bit tiring towards thew end 
(it's difficult to answer anything other than "yes" or "no" questions 
with gurning)

Dawn French and her boob jokes. OK, most of them were extremely 
juvenile, and again the humour drew a bit thin by the end, but it was 
funny most of the time. Sitting down at the Great Hall table and 
displacing four pupils off the end of the bench when pushing them 
aside to make space for hereself.

The "the invisibity cloak is too small" gag and the three pairs of 
legs (with obvious invisible bodies above them) going down the 
corridor.

"It's a junk Howler" (I won't spoil that one; it's got to be seen to 
be believed!)

"I thought it's talking Parcelforce" (required knowledge: Parcel 
Force is a courrier company)

I thought Dawn French was a bit unkind to Dan in the mock interviews, 
especially "his" inability to find the right words for what he wanted 
to say. "It was a challenging film.... in a ..... challenging sort of 
way".

Ronnie Corbett as Hagrid. Half of my coffee ended up on the screen 
when I realised what was going on. "They've outgrown me. *I* am 
supposed to be the giant!"

Jeremy Irons as Snape was simply priceless. Being very very luvvy, 
hamming it up, with a running commentary (e.g. "the hair's better his 
time", and the ultimate "God, I'm GORGEOUS"), complaining about not 
having been in LOTR. 

Great conversation with McGonagall: "I was only meant to be here for 
a day. It's been three weeks now." "why do we do this?" "For the 
money." "Why do they hire great actors like us when we've only got 
one line?", etc, etc.

"Am I Slytherin?" "No, I can understand every word you say"

Nigel Planer as Dumbledore,  d r a g g i n g   o u t   h i s   w o r 
d s  and leaving            huge           pauses            
between                them          to get maximum screen time, and 
all the other actors complaining about it. "On Lord of the Rings, we 
had chocolate Hob Nobs" (do non-Brits know what Hob Nobs are?)

Basil Brush as Dobby, confusing him with Yoda just a little bit. And 
the Gollum impersonation. 

The Hogwarts Express going into a tunnel and coming out as Thomas The 
Tank Engine: I was rolling on the floor for that one.

Quidditch alternating between a *very* cheap basic computer game 
(cutout spectators, pixellation all over the place, etc) and models 
hanging off strings. Crude but brilliant. Quidditch highlight: the 
appearance of Alex Ferns with obviously fake blond hair as Malfoy. 
Completely lost on anyone to whom EastEnders means nothing...


Oh, and for those who didn't like Jack Dee's words about Dan during 
the Evening Standard film awards, you can feel better because he's 
been standing on a 55 foot pole outside the BBC studios for the last 
6 hours and is currently looking very, very, very, pissed off and 
cold.

-- 
GulPlum AKA Richard, who having typed all of that thinks it's only 
fair to encourage people to go to 
https://donate.comicrelief.com/rednoseday/donate/
and give Comic Relief some money (all curriencies accepted...)