The perfectly shaped head & Pushing Thirty

[Cindy C.]

Tabouli wondered:

> Ah, yes.  That other well-worn justification for razing one's 
>locks... the perfectly shaped head!  Transfixed as I am by the 
>glory of hair (or anguished as I am by its deliberate absence), I 
>have never managed to establish what this paragon of skull shapes 
>actually *is*.  Can one of you baldness admirers enlighten me?

Oh, head perfection does exist!  Anyone who saw the movie "Drum 
Line" can attest to the fact that the head of the drum corp, whoever 
that guy was, had a perfect bald head.

Let's see.  Let's talk about the skin first.  There must be no 
scarring from old wounds, no freckles, and no huge purple Gorbachov 
splotch.  A light sheen of sweat is intriguing, provided this is 
mopped periodically with a clean handkerchief, which I would 
cheerfully launder for him if he would only ask.  Trickles of sweat, 
however, are a turn-off, so the timing of the mopping is important.

Then there's the shape.  The head absolutely *must* be round.  
Eggheads need not apply.  Oblong heads also do not work.  There 
should be no noticeable divots or indentations.  Bulges are non-
starters.  It is OK if the head has a very slight crown above the 
forehead, but in no case should there be a Klingon ridge.  

It's like obscenity, Tabouli.  You know it when you see it.

A perfect bald head is something one longs to touch.  Just once.  
Maybe by accident.  On mass transit, perhaps when one is reaching 
for the wire to alert the driver to stop.  So far, I have never had 
the opportunity.  I imagine it would be warm and smooth, like a 
baby's bottom.  ;-)

Look at it this way, Tabouli.  Bald guys never have greasy hair.  Or 
silly haircuts.  Or *dandruff.*  ;-)

>Just when you've got thoroughly used to thinking of yourself 
>at "young", you hit 30 and wonder if you still can...

<heavy, labored sigh due to advanced age>

Oh, Tabouli.  You're *30* and you're starting to wonder if you can 
feel young?  

Let me tell you something, missy.  Thirty is *nothing.*  I decline 
to state my actual age in this particular forum, but let's just say 
that I am likely in the second half of my life.  ::shudder::  And I 
can tell you from personal experience that 30 is not old.  

Your body doesn't even start to fall apart at 30.  Unless you've 
lived an exceptionally hard life, you still look pretty good at 30. 
You can climb into a convertible and no one snickers.  At 30, you're 
still willing to wear shoes that hurt.  You haven't yet asked your 
doctor if your inexplicable weight gain is the result of a "slow 
metabolism."  

Nah.  Talk to me in about 10 years, more or less, OK?  ;-)

Cindy -- wondering who our oldest member is and wondering if that 
person is willing to step forward