[HPFGU-OTChatter] Re: Fwd: automated detention dispenser

[Iggy McSnurd]

Iggy here:

I tried this, and got the follwoing fun responses...



(Using spells against another student... just for a bit of harmless fun,
mind you... and excusing that I was actually aiming for Harry Potter)

Iggy McSnurd

You were aiming for Potter and you missed? That was careless but even so,
I'm vaguely impressed. You are excused detention.

S. Snape



(Getting caught wandering around after curfiew... just setting up a little
practical joke.. innocent enough, right?  And using the excuse that I must
have been sleepwalking... oh, and hooking the mousetrap and can of paint
with a wire in my sleep as well... honest.)

Iggy McSnurd

Sleepwalking is an unfortunate condition, and is no doubt a sign of a deep
psychological disturbance.

You will spend next Sunday cleaning inkstains off Prof Trelawney's soft
furnishings, when no doubt she will give you the benefit of her vast
experience. If nothing else, it should put your own psychological problems
well into perspective...

S. Snape


(Well, since he decided I was disturbed, I ended up being a little
insubordinate in class.  Guess I shouldn't have written my name on that "Dr.
Flat U. Lence Realistic Whoopie Cushion"...  But it was just a harmless
laugh.  Well, I found out Professor Snape has a sense of humor... albeit a
twisted one.)

Iggy McSnurd

So you enjoy 'having a laugh'? You may be surprised to learn that I, too,
have a sense of humour.

Of sorts.

Your punishment will be an evening with Professor Lockhart, helping him to
answer his (alleged) 'fan mail'.

S. Snape



(Well, all of this didn't go over too well with me.  After all, what's an
aspiring jester to do when his art isn't appreciated?  So, I broke into his
office to place some little tricks all over the place...  He caught me...
again.  *sigh*  So I was honest.  I told him that I just wanted to leave him
a present as a... umm.. lovely... err.. surprise.  Yeah... that's it...)


Iggy McSnurd

How thoughtful.

In return, I would like to make you a gift of an evening spent in my
dungeon, extracting and slicing frog brains.

S. Snape



(Well, it doesn't take me too long to get the point... So when I skipped his
class to... well... okay, I was boobytrapping his office door with a case of
"Sedgewick's Shape Shifting Popper Pebbles"... I excused myself by telling
me that Harry Potter made me late...)

Iggy McSnurd

Potter 'made you late'?

Pathetic.

You will report to my dungeon this evening and you will write out the
following 1000 times:

'I must not blame Potter's (admittedly malicious) behaviour for my inability
to arrive at class on time!'

S. Snape



(Hmmm... apparently even HE doesn't believe Harry can be blamed for
everything...  I was so frustrated that I messed up the Potions classroom
during my most recent class.  Honestly, I didn't SEE the fourth line of
instructions on how to make that Preserving Potion.  Apparently, forgetting
to add three drops of sundew sap and the melted beeswax causes it to esplode
and coat everything with a sticky puce goo.)

Iggy McSnurd

The Rules are clear. Anybody who fails to follow my clear and succinct
instructions will find themselves paying the price.

However, I do not appear to have suffered personal injury as a result, so
you have had a narrow escape!

Tonight you will report to my dungeon, where you will slice a few hundred
giant horned slugs. Consider yourself lucky.

S. Snape



(I think I've learned my lesson.  Anyone out there know what kind of soap
will wash giant horned slug mucus off your hands and arms?)


Iggy McSnurd