Fw: The 5-Year Plan

[psychic_serpent]

--- In HPFGU-OTChatter at yahoogroups.com, "Iggy McSnurd" 
<coyoteschild at p...> wrote:
> Iggy here:
> 
> I got this funny e-mail from my uncle John, and thought you'd all 
> enjoy it. (For anyone who's completely unaware of media and 
> political events in the US, Arnold Schwartzenegger (sp?) was 
> elected to replace the repealed California Governor, Grey Davis.
> 
> NEWS BULLETIN
> 
> The New California Governor has just announced an agreement
> whereby English will be the official language of the state, rather
> than German, which was the other possibility.
> 
> As part of the negotiations, The Terminator's Government conceded
> that English spelling had some room for improvement and has
> accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as
> "Terminator-English."
> 
> In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly,
> this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c"
> will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up
> konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
> 
> There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when
> the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will
> make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
> 
> In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
> expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
> possible.
> 
> Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which
> have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre
> that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
> disgrasful and it should be droppd.
> 
> By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as
> replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
> 
> During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
> kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil
> sensibl riten styl.
> 
> Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrevun vil find it
> ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united Urop vil
> finali kum tru.
> 
> If zis mad yu smil, pleas pas it on to oza pepl.

This is actually really old and obviously retooled for the current 
political climate--but only at the start.  If you look to the end, 
the part about a united Europe indicates that it was clearly not 
originally intended to comment on the US.  It's also flawed; after 
the supposed replacement of C by S and K, a letter C is used in the 
word "replace," as well as in combination with H in "changes" and 
other words requiring this sound.  This thing has been hopping 
around the web for ages now.

--Barb

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