My Two Knuts (long)

[joywitch_m_curmudgeon]

I'm going to do something that will doubtless piss off both sides in 
the recent debate, if not everybody on HPfGU, but I think it's time 
to stop bullshitting around and tell people the truth about what's 
going on around here.

As we all know, HPfGU is run by an admin team of 30 or so list elves 
and poltergeists.  Currently, the admin team makes decisions 
democratically.  In the past, the admin team was divided into two 
groups  – the elves/poltergeists, and a smaller group of about 8 
people called The Moderators, who had a separate Yahoo list, and who 
were the ultimate authority here on HPfGU.  Cindy was one of those 
Moderators.

Last March, the Moderators asked Cindy to leave the Moderator team, 
but did not ask her to leave the admin team.  Many of the list elves 
and poltergeists were outraged, and came to Cindy's defense.  A small 
revolution ensued, and when the dust cleared, most of the Moderators 
had resigned from the admin team, and some from HPfGU as well.

I was, at that time, a poltergeist and only peripherally involved in 
list admin.  I was one of the first people to rise to Cindy's defense 
because I agreed that she had been wronged, and because I had many 
criticisms of the way the list was run.

At the time, I felt that the Moderators were heavy-handed, 
autocratic, and undemocratic.  I couldn't understand why they would 
oust Cindy, who seemed to be trying hard to reach out to the list 
elves and poltergeists and understand our concerns.  I helped lead 
the fight to get them to resign, and argued that we run the admin 
team more democratically.

When the Moderators resigned, the admin team was facilitated by Amy 
Z, and then later I became assistant facilitator.  Amy and I tried to 
lead the process of opening up and democratizing the administrative 
processes.  This was an emotional and difficult time for those of us 
who were long-time members of HPfGU.  Many of us had become close 
friends, and together we had forged a community that was an important 
part of many of our lives.  It was sad to see so much dissent and 
anger.  Several of the Moderators who left the list were friends of 
mine who I still miss.

During this time, it became more and more clear to me that Cindy's 
motives were not what I had originally perceived them to be.  After 
several months of working closely with her, I finally realized that 
her goals were not the best interests of HPfGU, but instead were 
personal.  I realized, through talking to a lot of other admin team 
members and several Moderators, that Cindy had lied about several 
supposed events, and had often manipulated the truth.  I finally came 
to the conclusion that what Cindy seemed to want was to run HPfGU 
herself, her way.

This was rather a startling conclusion, to me.  I mean, I *liked* 
Cindy.  She is smart, funny and  interesting.  She was my friend.  
And why the hell would anyone go to so much trouble to try and take 
over a discussion group about a children's book?  In fact, I still 
don't get it.  Nevertheless, I'm afraid it's true.  Cindy has 
consistently, first from her position as Moderator, then from her 
position as a member of the admin team, and more recently in her 
position on the FAQ team, tried to unduly influence and manipulate 
both people and circumstances in an attempt to gain leadership of the 
HPfGU community.

Which is not to say that some of the issues Cindy is raising *aren't* 
valid.  I believe that HPfGU *should* be run more democratically.  
Perhaps the elves should be elected; although I'm betting if we held 
elections only a tiny percentage of HPfGU members would actually 
vote.  I agree that it is unfair to prohibit discussion of list 
policy, since there is clearly both a need and a demand by HPfGU 
members to do so.  I think that if the admin team and/or the OTC 
membership feel that OTC is not the proper place for it, then another 
list should be created on which HPfGU members can openly discuss list 
policy.

The creation of a list of this type was proposed by a member of the 
admin team last spring, and I will admit that I didn't like the idea 
at the time, because I felt that the admin team was too overburdened 
by its tasks and unable to even read another list, let alone respond 
properly to list members' ideas.  But, time and circumstances have 
changed, and I do think that the admin team has to provide HPfGU with 
an outlet for policy discussions, especially considering that many of 
these discussions in the past have been helpful.

And Cindy is right that some rotten things have happened.  The 
creation of "the Old Crowd" list which she refers to was pretty 
nasty, (although I have to point out that it was NOT created by the 
admin team) and was what ultimately led me to decide to leave the 
admin team, although I don't think that the existence of that list 
had much of an impact on HPfGU.  And elves are sometimes rude, and 
sometimes break their own rules, and not everyone is always nice or 
happy.  And although the admin team has itself become much more 
democratically run, there remains the question of whether HPfGU as a 
whole could (or should) be more democratically run.  But a 
disproportionate part of the rudeness and dissent and anger have been 
caused by Cindy herself, as she has, one by one, driven away her 
friends and supporters in her bizarre attempt to create trouble on 
HPfGU.

One more piece of dirty laundry I must air – While Amy and I were 
facilitating the admin team, Cindy posted something policy-related on 
the Main List which, in my opinion, the admin team had not 
authorized.  I said so publically (on the admin team list), Cindy 
took offense, and resigned from the admin team.  At that time, people 
who resigned, for whatever reason, were allowed to return if and when 
they wanted to.  A month or so later, Cindy asked to return, and Amy 
and I decided that we did not have the authority to allow old admin 
team members to automatically return.  We discussed it on the admin 
list, and the general feeling was that given the emotionally charged 
nature of things, that none of the former Moderators who had left 
would be allowed back at that time.  Cindy was extremely upset at 
this, and accused Amy and I of "throwing her off" the admin team.  
After Amy and I left the admin team, she once again asked to return, 
and was rebuffed once again when admin team members voted against 
allowing old members to return.

I'm really sorry that things have come to this.  I imagine that some 
of you will think that I am making this all up or that I'm simply a 
lackey of the admin team.  You have only my word for it that I only 
came to these conclusions after many long months of emotional angst.  
I have my own disagreements with the admin team, and the way HPfGU is 
run, but the last person I want to represent those disagreements is 
Cindy.  

There is one thing I know for sure.  Either all of the current and 
past admin team members, including myself, are deluded, or Cindy is 
disruptive, destructive and – despite her continuing interesting and 
funny posts – is not someone I want to be a member of my community.

Sadly, Joywitch M. Curmudgeon