[HPFGU-OTChatter] Mad - Gotta share this

[GulPlum]

At 20:33 20/11/03 , June wrote:
>Darwin awards anyone?
>
>Vodka-racing should be an Olympic sport

<snip details>

I can do one better than that. This is absolutely true and I can supply 
references to anyone who doubts me...

Many years ago, when I was a lot more stupid than I am now, I attended a 
party at a friend's house (those who weren't of Polish stock were Irish, 
and both nations lay claim to being the biggest drinkers in Europe).

I don't recall how, but we got into a shot-for-shot vodka drinking 
competition. We started off with about 6 contenders, but after several 
rounds, we ended up with myself and our host's sister-in-law. Six or seven 
rounds after that, she'd had enough. It was decided that as winner, my 
prize would be drinking all the vodka left in the house. Partly as a result 
of having downed the equivalent of a litre of (good, strong) vodka in about 
half an hour, and partly because I was very, very stupid generally, I 
agreed to down it all in one go, straight out of the bottle.  I downed the 
half-bottle that hadn't been used in the championship, and then a full 
litre bottle in the space of at most five minutes.

I have a vague recollection of the next ten minutes, which consisted of an 
argument with our host, who wanted to drive me to the nearest hospital. I 
made it clear that I didn't think any such intervention was needed, and 
apparently, I hit him. Hard. He's my best mate and I'd known him for 20 
years, and that was the first (and only) time either of us had got physical 
with the other. It seems that I belted him so hard that they almost took 
*him* to the hospital!

...

The next thing I recall is waking up under the apple tree in their garden a 
couple of hours later (about 2am). I refused point blank to be driven home 
and insisted that I would walk (a distance of about 13 miles) and took off 
before anyone could stop me. What I didn't bet on was my sense of direction 
(or rather, complete absence thereof) and it's only when I noticed that the 
signposts to Dover were showing decreasing milages that I realised that I 
was walking in the wrong direction. Thankfully, a taxi was driving past, so 
I jumped in and got home at about 7am. I went to bed and woke up at 10.30 
feeling fresh as a daisy (much to my surprise, as I shouldn't have woken up 
at all!). I phoned my host of the night before to find out if I'd done 
anything else stupid, and to let them know that I was OK. His wife answered 
the phone to tell me that he'd spent half the night driving around London 
looking for me. He hadn't thought of going in the opposite direction... :-) 
They'd also called every potential hospital and police station. What they 
did NOT expect was that I'd be phoning them asking if THEY were OK!

Now, I'm not saying all the above to brag or from any sense of machismo, 
but to admit that I have absolutely no idea why I am alive after such an 
incredibly, astonishingly STUPID stunt. And it's a stunt that I have no 
intention of ever repeating and indeed, have managed to talk people out of 
at least twice. I was lucky for some reason. There is no reason for anyone 
else ever to be so lucky.