What's Love Got To Do With It?

[msbeadsley]

linlou wrote:
> Every time I see one of those celebrity divorces three months after 
> the wedding, I can't help but wonder why they got married in the 
> first place if they weren't willing to do the work. That is not to 
> say hard times are a requirement for a good relationship, but I 
> think you all will get my point.

I think what makes a LTR work is about as individual as the people in 
it (and I have been with my cohabitator/sweetheart for about 18 
years); what I've observed that doesn't work is probably easier:

Lack of trust or pathological jealousy; paranoia
Chronic me first-ism, or cutthroat competitiveness
Lack of empathy, isolationism, inability to share
Failure to commit
Tendency to entertain frequent "greener grass over there" thoughts
Grudges, inability to forgive
Immaturity, inability to mature "on the job" and learn in place
Lack of imagination
Unreasonable/mismatched expectations*

Sandy

*My favorite one of these is, I kid you not, a couple who got married 
mutually agreeing to an "open marriage." She thought it meant open 
and honest communication; he thought it meant they each got to fool 
around. And they were together several years!

(Uh, duh! I guess the working factors would be the above, inverted.)