[HPFGU-OTChatter] Re: What's Love Got To Do With It? - the other perspective

[Jen Faulkner]

On Fri, 3 Oct 2003, alice_loves_cats wrote:

> Well,
>
> how about our NEWEST relationships/weddings?

I certainly am not going to beat out Alice (4 days and counting --
congrats!), but my relationship is also on the newish side, though at
just over nine months, it's now my longest (continuous) relationship.
*g*  (I'll be 25 in a couple of months, for a frame of reference.)

I met my gf online in August of 2001 (on LiveJournal), and we've been
dating since December of last year, meeting in person for the first time
on December 27th.  We live on opposite coasts, so there's a great deal
of distance involved, but we've managed to see a *lot* of each other so
far (including living together for more than two months this summer
while we were both on break from school).

And yes, I do think (hope) this will be The One. :)  She's really
everything I've ever wanted -- which isn't to say I'm blind to her
faults.  We're both rather conflict-avoidant people (both of us are more
likely to cry than yell if we think we might've hurt the other person's
feelings, which makes fighting difficult), though we have worked out
various issues as they've come up, since we both believe communication
is very important.  We both just try to be very cautious in *how* we say
things, lest we say something hurtful to the other person.  We still
both say what we need to.  But minor problems aside, she's really just
awesome and wonderful and brilliant and cute, and I'm still blissfully
happy. :)

Speaking from my not-so-vast experience, what's made this relationship
really work for me is that we were friends first -- I can't imagine ever
even wanting to date someone who wasn't also a friend (I never have,
either).  We have a *lot* in common, though not everything; our
non-overlapping interests tend to be complementary, though, which is
quite nice.  She's someone I just really enjoy *being* with, enough so
that I want to spend the rest of my life with her.  I've never wanted
that before, never had someone who I wanted to have around all the time.
Even when I was *desperately* infatuated and passionately in love
before, I'd never felt anything permanent about it: I know that this
relationship has as good a chance of being life-long as any I could be
in.

We have a lot of similar goals and values, which also helps.  I think we
basically know where the other person is coming from (and going to).
Our personalities are not identical, but similar enough to be
complementary.  We're both very introverted, for example, so she isn't
constantly wanting me to go out to parties or the like, which is fine in
someone you see occasionally, but *very* tiring in a partner.

Also, she likes my dog, and my dog likes her. *g*

--jen, the blissfully in love, who will happily talk about her
girlfriend to anyone who'll listen. :)

* * * * * *
Jen's HP fics:
http://www.sas.upenn.edu/~jfaulkne/fan/hp.html
Snapeslash listmom: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/snapeslash
Yes, I *am* the Deictrix.