Meeting Up

[msbeadsley]

linlou wrote:
> OK. New topic. For those who have significiant others, how did 
> you meet them?

I *like* this topic, good job! Okay...thinking...

In 1984 I was living in NYC and flew to Portland, Oregon for the 
Westercon science fiction convention; it was my first SF convention, 
and I went just because a) I was itching to meet the guest of honor 
(Harlan Ellison <yes, I have a Harlan Ellison story>) and b) the NYC 
job was the first one I ever had that paid anything like sufficiently 
for me to fly coast-to-coast just because I wanted to. This is still 
backstory; I wandered around in a fog those four days, bumping into 
my idol just often enough to stay loopy, but still managed to have 
enough quality conversation to know that the attendees included an 
unusually high percentage of potential kindred spirits.

When I moved to Denver to take a different job a year later (NYC 
having proved too much for me), one of the first things I did was 
find out about the local literary SF convention (in a magazine), and 
register (mailed a check). When it rolled around a few months later, 
I attended, but in a sort of introverted, doing-reconnaissance way. I 
also picked up a flyer for the local, year-round SF group. A day or 
two after the convention I called the phone number on the flyer. I 
expected the person on the other end to tell me where and when the 
group met, how much dues cost, maybe chat a bit, and to say, see you 
then. We (Bruce and I) talked for hours and hours. (Turns out *his* 
plan had been to get to check out the group's newbies (read "chicks") 
first, and so he'd "volunteered" to have his # on the flyers.) We met 
face to face (although I dimly remembered seeing him at the 
convention) at the group's next party (they schedule two most 
months), had a date shortly after that.

(As it got later and the restaurant got emptier, he asked me if I'd 
mind "going by his place," as he wanted to loan me a book in order to 
share a favorite short story he'd talked about. I'd met him at the 
restaurant, being wary, still careful. And I thought the book thing 
was like that "etchings" excuse, you know, get her to your place and 
put the moves on. When we got to his house, though, he rustled the 
book right up and handed it to me. Then he just looked expectant. I 
eventually figured out, yes, he did mean right now. We spent a 
portion of our first date sharing his couch, reading. I fell a little 
in love then and there.) Three months later were living together. I 
got him and SF fandom, as a sort of extended family, all in one fell 
swoop, as he was very active and somewhat high profile in that 
community. (It was also very handy that there were dozens of people 
who'd known him for years, essentially vouching for his good nature 
and lack of Mr. Hyde side, as my track record that way had not been 
at all good). And SF fandom turned out to be the community I'd been 
looking for all my life. (In Kentucky, where I grew up, there just 
weren't that many obvious clumps of quirky, creative, socially 
awkward, know-it-all, nerdy bookworms to join up with <g>.) It was a 
lot like finding a good church is for some people (including my 
family back in Kentucky). Before I knew it, I was volunteering, and 
so two years after that con where I'd hardly spoken to anyone, I was 
running registration and getting to know absolutely *everyone*. And 
we're *still* reading and talking and loving. Ain't life grand 
sometimes? 

^--^
Sandy