The Return of Tom Swift

[Amy Z]

June wrote:

> Can't resist this bait, or is it deliberate provocation?  There are 
> a number of people who know my opinions about adverb use 
in dialogue 
> attribution only too well...(did they put you up to this, she asked 
> suspiciously)
> 
> Are you all yawning comfortably?
> 
> THE ONLY WORDS YOU NEED FOR SPEECH ATTRIBUTION 
ARE:
> 
> He/she said
> 
> he/she asked
> 
> No adverbs and no steroids to boost the words:  ie he said, 
she 
> said, they did not jerk out, ejaculate (except in an entirely 
> different genre...), he didn't yell, scream or hiss either.  People 
> say, they don't smirk, giggle or chuckle.  
> 
> Sorry JKR - I hate it.  I only forgive it because it's you and I 
> will tolerate it so I can hang with the likes of Snape, Lupin and 
> the rest of them.  
> 
> So said June, acerbically, and maybe arrogantly

But... but... but if it weren't for adverbs and exotic equivalents of 
"said," we couldn't do Tom Swifties.

she said, amiably.