little bits of thread

[joywitch_m_curmudgeon]

I've been storing little bits and pieces of conversations that I've 
been meaning to respond to.  Most of you have probably forgotten 
these threads by now, but since I'm home with a cold and I need 
something to take my mind off the fact that I want to rip my sinuses 
out of my head and soak them in boiling water, I'm going to bore you 
all with them right now:

* I am incredibly jealous of June, who works in a place that sounds 
like Hogwarts.  Don't go into any dark alleys, June, or I might sneak 
up behind you and steal your dungeon.  The Joycave could really use a 
dungeon.  (You might say I was a curmudgeon without a dungeon, but 
you wouldn't because it would be too awfully punny.)  On second 
thought, if you promise to lock up Margaret Thatcher in the dungeon 
and throw away the key and never, ever, feed her, maybe I'll let you 
keep it.

*Amanda was never on my shit list.  I don't even own a shit list.  I 
have an exasperating list, but most of my friends have spent some 
time there at one point or other.  In fact, I spend most of my time 
there myself.

*I mistakenly called Red Sox pitcher Pedro Martinez by the wrong 
first name.  I have some excuses.  It was midnight.  I was tired.  I 
am senile.  There was a book sitting right there on my desk next to 
the computer by PABLO Neruda.  I meant no slight to the Red Sox.  As 
an apology to Red Sox fans, I promise not to mention Bill Buckner 
again until next season, unless the Red Sox by some incredible stroke 
of luck beat the Yankees in the playoffs, in which case the city of 
Boston will feel the full power of my sturdy oak wand with its dragon 
heartstring.

*I, too, am one of those people who are allergic to perfume.  I 
occasionally have to move to another spot in a public place, as my 
eyes start to burn, my throat starts to itch, and my nose does all 
sorts of unpleasant things.  A small amount of perfume, discretely 
applied, doesn't seem to bother me, but some people like to pour on a 
whole bottle.  Oh, and I've met Jo Serenadust in the flesh, I while I 
have to admit I don't really remember that much about the way she 
smells, her claim that she does not overuse perfume is accurate.  
And, she's pretty cool.

*I still count Amy and David among my bestest of friends, despite the 
horrible Swifties they posted.  And I promise to never, ever, ever, 
never say anything "joyfully."

– Joywitch M. Curmudgeon