Adverbs can be your friends WAS: Re: The Return of Tom Swift
psychic_serpent
psychic_serpent at yahoo.com
Sat Oct 11 23:35:25 UTC 2003
I understand the criticism of some folks concerning adverbs
like "joyfully." Adverbs are often not the way to go when trying to
communicate the way someone is speaking. It is just not true that
the words themselves can always communicate adequately the way the
person is saying them. Sometimes, however, if you feel the need to
use an adverb, it might be that you need to vary the verb your using
to indicate speech.
For instance:
"Where do you think you're going?"
could have any sort of context.
"Where do you think you're going?" she asked softly.
"Where do you think you're going?" she whispered urgently.
"Urgently" is an adverb that helps create a fuller picture of the
way the speaker is behaving, and by varying the 'speaking' verb from
asked to whispered (we don't necessarily need to use 'asked' since
that's what you do with questions) we don't have the problem of too
many adverbs, since 'she asked softly and urgently' is awkward and
tedious. Someone whispering urgently is a bit on edge. You can't
communicate this by the words in the quote alone, or just by saying
that their volume was soft.
"I told McGonagall about what you did," Neville said haltingly.
"I told McGonagall about what you did," Neville finally managed to
say, shaking the entire time.
The first version, with an adverb, communicates the way he spoke,
but the second way communicates both the way he spoke and the way he
was behaving. ('Finally managed to say' implies that he had some
difficulty getting the words out without cluttering the quote itself
with annoying pauses.)
Sometimes adverbs might be examined more closely, in case the images
being communicated through them might be better conveyed using
another method, but sometimes they're entirely appropriate. (If
Neville really did speak haltingly, rather than shaking all over,
the first version would be preferred.) When possible, adverbs
should be used to describe the way the person spoke, stood, sat,
moved, etc., rather than the person's mood ("joyfully" for
instance). "Harry slumped down in his chair and glowered at Ron,"
is more effective than, "Harry sat grumpily in his chair." What
does it mean to sit grumpily? It doesn't really communicate what's
going on. Adverbs should be used in the service of words that are
more clearly delineating the characters' actions, when they're used
at all. ("Harry slumped down in his chair and glowered at Ron," has
no adverbs.)
--Barb
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Psychic_Serpent
http://www.schnoogle.com/authorLinks/Barb
More information about the HPFGU-OTChatter
archive