restaurant birthdays

[joywitch_m_curmudgeon]

There's been some talk of restaurant birthdays, which made me think 
of the fact that I hate, hate, hate having Happy Birthday sung to me 
in a restaurant.  I agree with Dave Barry, who says that "There comes 
a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal 
about your birthday.  That time is age 11."

My mother, who recently retired after teaching third grade for over 
40 years, has spent most of her life with eight-year olds.  She, 
therefore, does not understand this rule, and thinks that everyone 
wants to have a big deal made about their birthday.  OTOH, I, at this 
point in my life, would just as soon have everyone forget about my 
birthday, and especially about my ever-advancing age, although you 
can buy me a present if you want to. ;-D

So, my mother continued to insist that the waitstaff of whatever 
restaurant we were in bring out a birthday cake and sing loudly to me 
every year, until I was in my late 20s and she finally realized that 
I had been pleading with her for over 10 years to NOT TELL THE DAMN 
WAITER THAT IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!

Some of what helped finally get my message across to my mother was a 
series of mishaps.  There was the time, at Tavern on the Green, when 
a bunch of waitrons came out with a cake and sang "Happy Birthday 
Dear Karen" to me.  About 10 minutes later, we heard them sing to 
someone else (you can guess what her name probably was) "Happy 
Birthday Dear Joy."

The best, though, was the time in a seafood restaurant on Long Island 
named Louie's.  The entire staff came out with a cake and sang to me:

Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday dear customer!
Happy Birthday to you!

--Joywitch M. Curmudgeon, who wants to thank Catlady for her nice 
comments and for the fact that she never says anything cattily.