case of Ms. Schiavo

[Cindy C.]

Hey,

I wrote:

> Cindy -- who thinks heroic measures would *hurt,* and who would be 
> OK if dh pulled the plug 'cause we all gotta go sometime and being
>in a vegetative state for 13 years isn't really living


Anne replied:

>Do we all know exactly what 'heroic measure' mean?


Heh, heh.  Apparently not!

I have heard much made of the fact that it is barbaric to remove a
feeding tube because the patient is allowed to dehydrate and starve to
death.  (BTW, I listened to an NPR radio program in which the two
experts said that someone in the end stages would not suffer from
removal of a feeding tube, but then again, how would *they* know?)

But little is said about the alternative -- living with a tube in your
stomach for 13 years and coping with everything that comes with that.
 Doesn't that hurt too?  I don't know; I'm just asking.

> Unfortunaley, I found out when my father was ill.

Yeah, I got a taste of this with an uncle.  He was slowly but most
definitely dying in the hospital.  The decision had to be made whether
to put him on life support as his organs began to fail or let him go.
 It was decided to put him on life support machines so that one of his
children could make it to Texas from Europe (she was military, so she
needed permission and a military flight, etc.).  My dad was against
this and thought this was rather selfish of her as she needlessly
prolonged his suffering.

Maybe Jeb should have decided?  ;-D

Anne:

>'Heroic 
> Measures' is a term that is so clearly misundertstood, that it was a 
> complete shock to me when they told me this.  

Yeah, the devil is in the details, definitely.  What is heroic in one
circumstance is not in another.  I think the most sensible thing is
just to appoint the family member you think has the best judgment and
let them do whatever they think is best.

>Estate planning 
> does NOT require you to be a millionare, but is necessary to protect 
> the assets one has built up (even if it's only a few thousand $)

Yeah, it definitely pays to Take Care Of Business, but I understand
why people don't.  Getting a lawyer to draft a will is *expensive.* 
The more complex your situation (divorce, remarriage, lots of assets)
the more you need a properly-written will, and the more it will cost you.

>  It is so overwhelming.  It's an awful, awful thing to think about,
>a loved one, or ourselves passing, but we need to be informed so that 
> we can make somewhat reasonable choices when the time comes.

It is awful, but not nearly as awful as having your entire family
squabbling (and using precious resources) about what to do with you
because you didn't make it clear when you were able to do so.

Cindy -- who put her will in a safe deposit box and can't find the
darn key anywhere

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