Irrational childhood (and afterward...) fears

[A. Vulgarweed]

I saw Carrie and Alien and Jaws and The Shining and all that when I was a
kid (and yes, I was too young for R-rated movies, but I got away with it
with a friend's older brother....don't remember how), and they didn't
really faze me all *that* much that I remember. I was in horrible suspense
in the theater of course, but they didn't really stick with me much
afterward like that.

But those are GOOD horror movies. For me, it was a BAD horror movie that
did it. Anybody remember a horrible little cheapie, circa 1979 or so,
called 'Prophecy'? Paper mill in Maine dumping nasty chemicals in the
water. Ancient Indian prophecy about the revenge of the mountain. Fugly
giant mutated fish, then.....fugly giant slimy mutated BEARS, who had
super-ursine powers (couldn't be shot) and killed people. Did anybody else
see this thing? Oh MAN. See, I grew up in the woods. My dad was a park
ranger. He was always on about the destruction of the environment and
conservation (still is). This movie seemed very PLAUSIBLE to me, and while
I didn't give up playing in the woods (couldn't really, as there was
nowhere to play for miles that wasn't woods), I spent a lot of time running
out of them in screaming terror because some songbird or bunny rabbit was
rustling in the leaves and startled me.

Oh yeah, also reading. I read Stephen King with no lasting trauma. What got
me was Poe's "The Premature Burial"--which contains a VERY VIVID
description of *exactly* what it might be like to be buried prematurely, in
loving sensual detail. Gaaah. I blame him for my enduring claustrophobia.

Which brings me to: Flying. (On airplanes, silly) SOMETIMES. The worst part
is, the panic attacks come and go with no rhyme or reason--when I buy a
ticket to go somewhere, I never know if on the day of the flight I'm gonna
be all chill, having my bad canned Bloody Mary and reading Harry Potter and
watching the pretty clouds below, or if I'm going to be _whimpering in
mortal terror and begging a flight attendant to hold my hand_ (yes, I
really have done this.) I was fine coming back from New York from a
friend's wedding--in August 2001. (When I went back about a month and a
half later to help some friends through the aftermath, I took the friggin'
Amtrak, oh yes.)

Spiders. Yup. LOL about Chamber of Secrets and Return of the King. I was SO
MAD at Peter Jackson. I wanted to get them over with in the same year!

Post too long. Spider story coming soon.

AV, irrationally scared of telling the spider story.