[HPFGU-OTChatter] Return of the Skrewt Spawn!

Tue Oct 28 20:54:34 UTC 2003

I think I am going to be sick.  I just looked at one of the pictures and
you know that thing is on some nutter person's hand.   I cannot believe
that you had the nerve to kill it.  You have my respect!!

Tonya

	-----Original Message-----
	From: Amanda [mailto:editor at texas.net] 
	Sent: Tuesday, October 28, 2003 2:38 PM
	To: HPFGU-OTChatter at yahoogroups.com
	Subject: [HPFGU-OTChatter] Return of the Skrewt Spawn!

	In the spirit of the creepy stories (in the sense of those
things 
	that creepeth upon the earth--or, worse, *me*), I am reposting
the 
	Attack of the Skrewt Spawn. Enjoy. 

	Message 11638
	From:   "Amanda Geist" <editor at t...> 
	Date:  Sat Aug 10, 2002  12:43 pm
	Subject:  Attack of the Skrewt Spawn

	Allow me to quote the description of Blast-Ended Skrewts:

	" They looked like deformed, shell-less lobsters, horribly pale
and 
	slimy-looking, with legs sticking out in very odd places and no 
	visible heads."

	It is my sad and sober duty to inform you all, and to warn those
of 
	you who live in dry, desert areas, that Hagrid is evidently
*not* the 
	first wizard to breed such things. A close relative of the
Skrewts 
	evidently escaped and has established itself in the native
fauna. I 
	know this because I killed one in my garage a couple of days
ago.

	This creature, cleverly sensing the absence of my husband, He
Who 
	Must Deal With Bugs, invaded the *day* he left. And it chose its
time 
	well. Picture this.....a sleepy woman remembers she has not fed
the 
	cat (aided in this by the cat making a constant stream of trills
and 
	hopeful little forays toward the garage, wherein are his food
and 
	water bowls). Sleepy woman, I point out, is wearing no shoes,
which 
	is very stupid given the fact that (a) the cat's attitude toward
his 
	box has been very cavalier for quite a while, (b) the garage is
where 
	I see most of the recluses (although the odds that they can bite

	before being crushed against concrete are small, unlike when you
sit 
	on them on upholstery or stand on them on carpet); (c) the
garage is
	also a very likely place for scorpions (in fact, the carcass of
a 
	rather large dead one is, even as we speak, under the bag of cat

	food, startling me on a regular basis, but I never have anything
to 
	hand to deal with it and simpy make yet another
quickly-forgotten 
	mental note to clear it away in a bit). So no shoes is not the 
	brightest way to go into the garage, but the foregoing should
also 
	let you all know that I am not entirely unprepared or unfamiliar
with 
	creepies in the garage. Okay.

	I turn on the light, open the door, and stand on the step in the

	garage. Leon (the cat) comes through the cat door in the wall
and 
	begins his loop-through-the-legs-and-cat-food-bag routine. A
movement 
	on the garage floor (a couple inches below the raised area where
the 
	freezer sits) catches my eye, and I think it is a scorpion, a
large 
	one. I look. It's not. I don't know what it is.

	Let me say now that I am a native Texan and have lived 37 1/2 of
my 
	38 years here. With the exception of about four years in Austin,
all 
	of that time was in San Antonio. The most recent seven years
were in 
	this very house. And I have never, never, never, *ever* seen
anything 
	like this thing crawling (very fast)towards me. I am horrified.

	It moves like a scorpion, in very fast little jerky rushes. 
	Scorpions, in fact, are loved by most cats because they move
like cat 
	toys and are fun to play with (cats are way too fast to get
stung). 
	Not my cat, though, of course, so no help in this situation
either. 
	Leon looked at this creature and promptly ignored it, just as I
have 
	seen him watch a scorpion walk past him, and he continues his
"feed 
	me" routine, getting massively in the way as I try
simultaneously to 
	keep this thing in sight, stay away from it, make sure I'm not 
	stepping on any known evils while dealing with the unknown, and
	find something to kill it with. Even if Jan were here, it's
moving 
	too fast for me to go for help, and I am NOT going to allow
anything 
	that looks like this to get away alive.

	I am finding it a bit hard to look away from this thing, making
it 
	even more difficult. This is true horrified fascination. It has
two 
	very long front legs (I find out later they aren't legs, but
such was 
	my impression at the time) held up and out, in the exact
attitude you 
	take when you are playing scary monster with your kids and are 
	chasing them--extended over its head (except it doesn't look
like it 
	has a head) and forward. The pattern on its back is very
reminiscent 
	of the scale pattern on a scorpion, and the color is
similar--that, 
	combined with its movement, makes my mind *still* try to make it
a 
	scorpion even when I can see it's not.

	It comes up the little raised shelf and I do a creditable
imitation 
	of those ladies in cartoons on chairs, jumping back onto the
step 
	below the door. [To my credit, I don't think I yelled.] It goes
back 
	down, I jump down and grab one of a pair of sandals that's in
the 
	garage because Leon hairballed in them and I haven't had time to

	clean them out yet. I check for recluses beneath and on the
sandal--
	none. Good. I killed one under a garbage bag out here last trash
day. 
	I look for The Thing.

	It has gone along the edge of the raised area, heading toward
some of 
	the Stuff piled in here, and is perilously close to escaping.
This 
	thing is not only as fast as a scorpion, it doesn't stop like
they 
	do, it's in continuous motion, little rushes. I quickly scan the

	vicinity for other nasties, see none, vault the catbox, miss the
cat 
	poop, and smite this thing. It doesn't stop moving, but it stops

	going anywhere, which I interpret with some satisfaction as
death 
	throes. Eventually it does stop moving.

	It's not moving and I am no longer threatened. I am still
staring in
	horrified fascination. I don't know what this thing is. A closer
look 
	is unpleasant, because the oddities I noticed are reinforced. I
wish 
	they'd been tricks of the light or the adrenaline, but what I
saw was 
	accurate. It has a body like a spider, and those front things
can't 
	be legs because it has eight other ones. It's about the
size--for 
	those of you in the US--of a large one of those big garden
spiders 
	that roam the grass, a diameter (including legs) of about 2 to
2-1/2 
	inches. Its head is awful. It looks like a peach--just a groove,
no 
	eyes that I can see, no features. The head is shiny. The butt 
	(whatever that is in bugspeak) is indeed the color and pattern
of a 
	scorpion, but no stinger. I am afraid to touch it and leave it
where 
	it lies. I wonder if an alien ship has landed nearby and what
other 
	odd things may be happening by. This looks like it belongs in a
cave. 

	It's still there, by the way--I keep sneaking glances at it when
I'm 
	feeding my useless cat, to make sure it hasn't reanimated and
snuck 
	off to plot revenge. I was *totally* creeped out by this.

	Last night, with Catherine's help, I did a Google search and
*found* 
	the thing. It's called a sun spider. Or camel spider. Or
whipscorpion 
	or windscorpion (due to its speed). I found the site of some
lunatic 
	who takes pictures of arachnids as a hobby (rest easy, any of
you who 
	thought *we* were weird), and I made a positive identification.
[This 
	guy even has *movies* of this thing, if anyone is masochistic
enough 
	to want to see how it moves.] But it's not natural, I refuse to 
	believe it.

	No, this is another wizarding thing that escaped, some
experiment of a
	teacher or student at the Texas wizarding academy. Like horny
toads,
	creatures like this are positive evidence that there is a
wizarding
	population in this area. To my disgust, the magic control office
has 
	as much problem with people taking vacation in the summer as
other 
	offices, and nobody has shown up to Obliviate my encounter with
this 
	(which I would appreciate).

	Anyway, I now give you the URL so you can see the Skrewt spawn.
It's 
	clearly related to Hagrid's larger blasting Skrewts. From the 
	descriptions I found, this subspecies does not shoot fire. Thank
all 
	the good gods. I must warn you, not only is this thing hideous,
the 
	lunatic taking the picture has it sitting on his *foot* and his 
	*hand.* This makes my skin crawl on two levels, the thing itself
and 
	the thought of it touching me. I still won't even poke the body
with 
	a stick; He Who Deals With Bugs must handle it when he gets
back. 
	This is beyond me trapping stuff under bowls and cups and
balancing 
	large unabridged dictionaries on top to keep them there until he
can 
	arrive and handle it; this thing had to die and I'm even ooked
out by
	the carcass. Looking at the pictures, I can see the tiny black
eyes 
	buried in the crevice, but they are much less harder to see on
the 
	one I met. And mine was larger.

	In a word. Eeurgh.

	--Amanda the Skrewt-Killer

	P.S. of October 2003--the Skrewt was, some months later, mounted
in 
	lucite, has been carried on trips and shown to other HP fanfolk,
and 
	is currently on the shelf above my desk at work as I type.  ~A

	http://wrbu.si.edu/www/stockwell/photos/solpugid4.jpg
	http://wrbu.si.edu/www/stockwell/photos/solpugid6.jpg
	http://wrbu.si.edu/www/stockwell/photos/solpugid2.jpg

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