"You're Just Selfish!" (WAS moved from Main List: on not having children)

[lucky_kari]

And now speaketh the oldest of eight children, who just got back from
an utterly bizarre visit with an immature uncle and his girlfriend,
respectively 42 and 38. She has pictures of all her friends' babies
all over her fridge! And she wants kids, and so she latches on to my
pathetic uncle, who can't even hold a proper conversation with you
because he's thinking about himself. And what's worse she admits that
he's immature and is putting up with it in the hope he'll ask her to
marry him and they'll have sproglets.

Honestly, how can anyone crave children that *much*? 

We were very glad to escape from there after several hours in their
company. 

Myself, I love kids. Mostly boys, though. I don't really get girls. I
only started to feel female identified to tell the truth when I got to
university. And I know what the cravings for children are. I've got
them. Real bad. I mean, I got wobbly feelings when it was announced
that J.K. Rowling's baby was born! I was shopping for my fall clothes
today, and I spent most of my time in the baby section cooing over
those sweet little outfits. Girls may be mystifying, but they are
adorable... 

On the other hand, I could very easily see myself not having children.
I could easily see myself not marrying too. 

Anyway, on to the question. Is it selfish not to have children? I
mean, selfish in a bad way.

Can I make myself very unpopular here by answering, "Yes. Very often,
it is."

You see, I cling to the rather old-fashioned view that we should
contribute to the world, not take from it. How we do that can be very
different, but many of the DINKs, I know, pleasant though they may be,
are drains, plain and simple. Not drains on society, just drains on
humanity. They are living for nothing, contributing nothing, giving
their lives for nothing. The sort of people who centre life on
theirselves, never reaching out to others. 

They don't have children because it would be a challenge. And they
don't like challenges in their cozey little world. In fact, unlike
Elkins, they rather would like children, since they're cute. They're
just too lazy to make the sacrifices it demands.

I'm sure there'll be a flood of posts saying this is an unfair
characterization of the DINK crowd. And I'm not going to get away by
saying that I don't think *all* childless couples are like this?
Nevertheless, I will say that. :-) I mean, obviously I adore Elkins!
Who, I can assure you, is not a drain on humanity. For one small
thing, which is horribly important to me, I really can credit Elkins
with helping me through a very difficult period in my life. People are
made to help and love other people, and I object do people who plain
and simple don't. 

Of course, people with kids are similarly purposeless, pushing them
off on nannies, making them into ego-enhancing project children,  etc.
etc. Having kids can definitely be selfish. (Dear Barty Crouch Sr.
could have had some lessons in this department.) I want to scream
every Mother's Day in particular when military mothers of very young
children are interviewed. I am firmly of the belief that you cannot
have a five month old baby and be fighting a war in Iraq. That is
child abuse, in my humble opinion. I can see why women would want both
things, but I think they have a duty to choose. And to try to have
both is selfishness at its height. Absolute cruelty to another human
being. 

I really am putting my foot into it, aren't I?

Eileen