KathyK's Little Dilemma--Sorry to bug you all

[KathyK]

Hello Everyone,

In my mad quest to get out of Connecticut as soon as possible,
I've done a couple things I swore I'd never do.  I'm quite
conflicted about the whole situation and I just needed to vent for a 
couple minutes, if you'll indulge me.  

Last summer I finished my bachelor's degree in history.  Since
then I've come very close to doing absolutely nothing with my
life.  I'm still working in the same silly job I held in college.
It was great for working around my school schedule, but now the job 
is boring, annoying, and not where I want to be.

I've also come to regard Connecticut as such in the past few
months as well.  I grew up here and I love this place, but I need to 
get out at least for a while.  I know where I'd like to go and am
making plans to go there, but I don't want to share my
destination just yet because I'd hate to feel stupid if it
doesn't work out.  

My sad little job does not pay nearly enough for me to attain my 
goal of leaving in February.  I began looking for a better and/or 
second job this summer.  Eventually I fell into my current situation.

Many years ago I promised myself that I would never, ever, *ever* 
work in the same place that my mother does.  I even ridiculed my 
brother last year when he went to work for her company.  Not that I 
don't love my mother, but there's such a thing as too much. 
 
And there I was just a few short weeks ago, applying to the company 
at which my mother has worked for the past 15 years or so because 
with her referral, I was confident I had more than a fair shot at 
getting hired quickly.  

Additionally, I also vowed many years ago that if it could be 
helped, I would never work for some gigantic corporation.  Maybe 
it's the small town girl in me talking but I have always disliked 
large companies.  I'll take the limited selection of an
independent grocery store over the massive, ugly supermarket that 
now sits in the center of my town any day of the week.  There are 
times I can't avoid big box stores or the shopping mall, but I
scold myself while I'm there, all the way home, and every time I
open my closet.

But wouldn't you know?  I start my new job tomorrow at a large 
company where my mother works.  I'm kicking myself.  At the same 
time, however, I'm excited to have another job.  Between my two
jobs I'll be working between 60 and 70 hours a week for the next
few months, which will give me the money I need.  Plus, I won't
be sitting around whining about my lack of a life because I'll no 
longer have time to worry that I don't have a life. <g> 

So, should I be worried that I've violated two of my I-will-be-
happier-and-saner-if-I-never-do-this rules in order to achieve one 
of my goals more quickly?  Or should I just go with the attitude 
of "It's just this one time, and leaving Connecticut is more
likely to keep me happier and saner?"

Thanks for letting me ramble about my ridiculous life for a moment.  
Now I'm off to look for graduate schools because getting back to 
school is what will, in the end, make me *really* happy.

KathyK (feeling like she's gone over to the dark side)