[HPFGU-OTChatter] Gay is damaged, straight is normal (was: Re: Slut!Seamus and other ships)

[Amanda Geist]

The Sergeant Majorette (quite a mental image, that) said:

> Second, I'm talking about mathematical normalcy, which is the only
> true normal there is. Note that nowhere do I imply that *normal* is
> the only positive, healthy way to be.

Okay, I speak Math pretty well for an English major, I can buy that.

> Harry has no frame of reference
> for how he should have been treated.

?? Certainly he does. It was paraded in front of him every day he can
remember. While Dudley was outrageously spoiled, Harry did see an alternate,
more "normal" <g> parenting pattern, if taken to an extreme.

> If his best friend in his new
> life is gay, then the Dursleys remain justified in their treatment of
> him because he's still a freak.

Okay, I won't give you "freak" like I gave you normal. You're probably
speaking from the Dursleys' point of view here, but you should be a whole
lot clearer on that.

> But if his best friend is the
> unimpeachably conventional Ron Weasley, then even the Dursleys can
> see that their family structure is the odd one out.

Yeah, that'll just make the scales drop from their eyes, won't it? Like the
Dursleys have ever internalized any criticism of themselves or their
lifestyle. It wouldn't matter if Harry took up with the Prince of Wales, the
Dursleys would learn no moral lessons from it.

> Third, if the prevailing opinion around here is that Harry has not
> sustained the kind of psychological damage that would make him a
> problematic father and husband, then I *am* sorry. But my feeling is
> that since we know the story ends when Harry and the gang are
> seventeen, we're going to be left with a Harry who, if he lives (and
> maybe it will be simpler if he doesn't) will be happier working
> through his angst with a therapy buddy with similar issues. I say
> that's Draco (if *he* lives).

I really believe that you can be a problematic father and husband, and have
all kinds of angst issues, without automatically being gay. I don't think
the one causes the other; in actuality, if causation's involved, it's
probably the other way around.

> I do know that language comes from usage, and that most people
> understand *normal* to mean *right* and *conventional* to mean
> *healthy*. I understand that what I see as a lack of respect for the
> English language may not be as offensive to most as it is to me, and
> I apologize for my tendency to wax dogmatic in the face of such
> assaults.

In lieu of an apology, could you restate that in less flowery language? I've
worked through it a couple times now and I'm not entirely sure I've really
caught what you were trying to say.

Respect for the English language is my profession, but I am conflicted:
prescriptivist by profession, descriptivist by nature. And from neither
angle can I figure out what the hell you're talking about.

~Amanda