HP speech/boys

[alice_loves_cats]

Amber:
> Alice- I feel your pain. 
> 
> I just recently broke up with my boyfriend...or rather he decided 
> that he is having too many personal problems to deal with a 
> relationship right now. The thing is, he still talks to me, and we do 
> things together- but then I get accused of keeping tabs on him or 
> smothering him, which is definitely not the case at all. Grr....it 
> seems that I just can't win with this one. Apparently everything I do 
> or say is wrong, and upsets him in some way, and it's to the point 
> where I can't deal with this eggshell crap anymore.  
> 
> I'm trying to channel all my excess energy and pissed-off-edness into 
> my last paper of my undergrad career....and then I get to focus on 
> completing my paper for Convention Alley in Ottawa this summer- I'm 
> one of the presenters. It's just so much fun writing about the 
> Potterverse, that it's no longer considered work.
> 
> Hope things end up okay :)
> 
> ~Amber~ -----> off boys forever



That Ottawa thing sounds quite exciting, it makes me feel I'm at the
end of the world over here in Europe. One gets over one's "America's a
big strict daddy to us all" complex by stubbornly believing that
Europe is in fact the middle of everything (how can there be a middle
on the surface of a sphere... I really should know better than to say
things like that :) ), and Hungary is the heart of Europe, but
sometimes the belief crumbles. :)))

I'm dreading the day I go back to college after my exam, and meet him
in the corridor and suddenly find all my hard getting-over-things work
has been in vain and I start asking people for cigarettes that I don't
 physically need (oh, but phsychologically... yes, I need something to
hang on to...), and open my bottle of wine and down it within half an
hour and open the next, and slip into the bottomless pool of feeling
sorry for myself and planning various spectacular ways of commiting
suicide without actually dying, so as to "make him see what he has
done", and then wallowing in guilt for having thought such childish
and stupid thoughts, and then sobbing that I lo-ho-hove him and can't
ha-ha-have him and it's unfa-ha-hair. And next day feeling hungover
and wondering exactly how many people saw the whole spectacle the day
before and are now gossiping about it madly (our college is famous for
(a) inbreeding, as in: everyone has gone out with everyone, (b)
gossiping (hardly surprising considering (a)). 

Having said that, I actually feel all right at THIS precise moment. 

Amber, maybe the best would be to detach. If there's hope, go for it,
but if there isn't, disappear. For one thing, make HIM wonder where
you've got to, for another, at least there's a bigger chance you'll
stop thinking about it. Agony Aunt Alice has spoken... :)

Anyway... I'll stop the rant for now. 
Love, Boyfriendless