The Thermodynamics of Hell

[junediamanti]

Okay - stop me if you've heard this one before (probably another 
escapee from the Old Jokes Home) -  But I really liked it...

The following is an actual question given on a University of 
Washington chemistry midterm.  The answer by one student was 
so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues via the 
Internet, which is of course why we now have the pleasure of enjoying 
it as well.

Bonus Question:

Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's      
Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is      
compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

I need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the     
rate they are leaving.  I think that we can safely assume that once a
soul gets to Hell,it will not leave.  Therefore, no souls are 
leaving.  As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the 
different religions that exist in the world today.

Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of      
their religion, you will go to Hell.  Since there are more than one 
of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one 
religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number      
of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.  Now, we look at the rate 
of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in 
order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the 
volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1.  If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at
which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell 
will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2.  Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the       
increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will 
drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms.  Teresa Banyan       
during my Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell
before I sleep with you.", and take into account the fact that I 
still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, 
#2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and 
will not freeze.

The student received the only "A" given


Cheers,

June