Wild HP theories

[Amanar]

Amanar is happy to anounce that for the first time, she managed to 
catch the weekly chat!

It was a bit slow at first, but then I started to throw wild 
Potterverse thoughts to see if someone reacts, and it rolled into a 
wild theories chat. So I collected them from all over the transcript 
thinking I'd share.
Enjoy ;P


A(Amanar): Snape and Luna are gonna get married

A: Voldemort will elope with Harry, leaving the DEs with Kreacher

P: Snape/McGonagall - their bickering are merely signs of affection

A: A wild triangle love affair including Lupin, Umbridge and 
Marchbanks

A: Ron is so obvious. as if he really doesn't fancy Eloise Midgeon

P(profsnapefan): Snape/Neville - you know there's got to be a reason 
Snape gives him such a hard time in class, probably trying to hide 
his attraction to him (pardon me if this is lame, I'm new at weird 
ships, lol) -he's bullying Neville sort of like kids pulling the 
hair of the girl they like 

A: Mad-Eye Moody and Aragog- they have an eye fetish

P: Ollivander & Madame Malkin (Why should those at Hogwarts be 
having all the fun?)

A: Harry's trunk is actually a metamorphmagus, biding its time for 
Voldemort's return so he could steal all the Muggle pants and 
transform them into the worst Dark Muggle-wear army in the world!

P: Lily is actually alive, Snape is hiding her in the dungeons 
(since he's always loved her obviously) and he is keeping her under 
wraps with a combination of memory charms and glamour spells so that 
other staff may just think of her as his sickly/withdrawn wife. And 
when the war is over and the truth can be told, he, Lily and Harry 
will be one happy family

A: remember that barman in the Hog's Head? Well, he is non other 
than Arabella Figg's ex-husband Rodrigo. He was the first owner of 
Crookshanks, but threw him away after he broke the Radio in the 
middle of comentary for cricket semi-finals

P: Voldemort is actually DD's son from a youthful indescretion 
between DD and his mother. When he found that out, that's what 
caused him to go bonkers (knowing that he was being forced to live 
with a muggle father when his actually father was a great wizard, 
and being denied that status) - hence the real reason DD is the one 
wizard he fears since who wants to go up against their dad

A: Few people are aware that Blast-Ended Skrewts are not, as was 
once thought, cross breeds but actually a mix of sea slugs and a 
Filibuster Firework that has gotten horribly, horribly wrong

P: In the last chapter of the book 7, DD is going to use the time-
turner to go back and stop Voldie before he rises to power, thereby 
changing everyone's life as we know it.
(possible last sentences:)

P: "And graduating from Hogwarts, there was a 17 year old boy named 
Harry Potter, waving to his parents, his forehead bore no scar"

P: "And so ends the tale of the boy who used to be only famous for 
his scar". 

A: "and he fell from grace, just like The Lion King's Scar"

A: The Daily Prophet actually is a *daily prophet,* predicting 
tommorow's weather. Rita Skeeter stole the name and sued the prophet 
as if he stole her Trademark. And so, now sits a lonely man, 
predicting tommorow's meals in Azkaban, not knowing he was special. 
Not knowing he was famous. Unaware that he had not taken a bath in 
years

P: Crookshanks is actually Bill Weasley, sent to keep an eye on the 
kids in the castle. After this is revealed, they'll get married 
because who knows what crookshanks has seen...
lupinesque: During Umbridge's brief sojourn in the Forest, she and 
Grawp spawned a love child, who will in fact be the one who 
vanquishes Voldemort

P: "grawp loses his way in the forest and passes out, hence feeding 
aragog and all his family throughout a harsh winter"

A: Remember Florence? What Bertha didn't mention in DD's Pensieve is 
that while her kisser was a competent wizard, she in fact was not a 
Hogwarts student at all. Not even human actually, but the beautiful, 
loveable famous glass wall of Greenhouse Three.

hermionesmum: Spoken by Lily who has just greeted Harry behind the 
veil, and audible to Hermione and Luna who have fallen on the steps 
of the dias. Harry has turned to look back at them as she 
says. "they'll be alright you know. It healed in the end didn't it, 
that scar" We all simultaneously blub and feel elated and uncheated 
by a cliche thanks to the genius of JKR. 

See you next Sunday! (I hope)
--Amanar