[HPFGU-OTChatter] Re: What's wrong with "Merry Christmas"?

[Heidi Tandy]

On Dec 31, 2007 3:28 PM, Carol <justcarol67 at yahoo.com> wrote:
>
>
> Shopping carts full of gifts for people of both sexes and all ages are
> clearly not for one person's birthday, and (please correct me if I'm
> wron) Hanukkah gifts aren't usually large and expensive as Christmas
> gifts tend to be.


I will correct you - most Jewish families I know (which, I admit, are mostly
Ashkenazi reform/conservative/reconstructionist) do one or two large gifts
for the kids, possibly a large gift for the family, and smaller things like
clothing, books or small toys. Each family has their own traditions, like
some Christian families that open all their gifts on Christmas Eve and
others that wait until Christmas Day.

And speaking of families, in mine, me, one of my grandmothers-in-law, my
mother-in-law and all three of my husband's aunts have birthdays between
December 26 and January 21 (my brother-in-law's birthday was also in this
time-frame but he passed away last year so this is the second holiday season
we haven't shopped for him) and we range in age from nearly 37 to 86, so any
of the buys buying for all of us at once would cover all ages. But again,
that's very specific to our family; my best friend from college has her
birthday and all three of her sons' between Thanksgiving and Christmas so
they do Christmas and Birthday shopping in tandem. Ah, the joys of
double-dipping in the giftie pool (or not).



> Don't kid yourself; the stores are marketing to
> Christmas shoppers.


Maybe where you live. Not where I live, and not anywhere I've lived. Of
course, I have always done the holidays in cities with sizable Jewish
populations - Miami, Philly, New York, Washington DC and Los Angeles, so
I've always had friends who've participated in celebrations of Chanukah and
Christmas (both the Western and Eastern schedules). And now I live in Miami
Beach, where New Year's Eve can be the biggest party night of the year - we
have at least six fireworks celebrations tonight within five miles of my
house. So for me, there really is a list of holidays that are there to be
celebrated, enjoyed and partaken of, and I love including all of them in my
well-wishes.



***Katie again:


<<Well, I actually did write later on in that post that *if* "Happy
Holidays" actually means something to the person saying it, that's great and
fine. >>

I'm not sure how you can honestly feel both ways. If your initial
presumption is that a Random Person Who Wishes You Happy Holidays is saying
so even though it doesn't mean anything to her, then why would you ever know
that it means something to her? Why not just initially presume that someone
wouldn't say it unless they really mean it? Why do you lean to one
conclusion and not the other?

<<BUT - my point was, it means nothing to me. Why should someone be offended
by me wishing them a genuine and heartfelt "Merry Christmas", rather than a
lame and PC "Happy Holidays"?>>

If it's a friend or someone who you know doesn't celebrate Christmas? Then
possibly because you're forgetting or ignoring that they don't celebrate it,
which might make them feel that you don't actually care about their
religious beliefs.
As someone said a few days ago, when it's your birthday you don't wish
everyone else a Happy Birthday; people wish it to you. If you are speaking
to someone who you know celebrates Christmas (or about whom you can
reasonably assume it, like someone buying a Christmas tree or a slew of
ornaments or who's wearing a Santa hat or a reindeer sweater) then it's
lovely to say. If you're saying it to someone who is, say, wearing a Star of
David or a yamulke, or whose basket is full of blue giftwrap, or when you're
leaving their Christmas-tree-free household on December 22, then your
behaviour is closer to inconsideration than it is to genuine and heartfelt
seasonal joy.
Could you perhaps, next year, try to assume that when someone wishes you a
Happy Holidays, it's genuine and heartfelt, and see if you still find the
phrase as disconcerting as it sounds you have in the past? If it's six of
one and half a dozen of the other, then what's the harm in doing so?

- Heidi


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