On eating crow

[rklarreich]

In another week, many members of the main list will be faced by the 
necessity of eating crow, due to errors ranging from mistaken 
opinions of Snape's loyalties, to whether he is 5'4" or 5'7", to 
whether Irma Pince is his dear old mum, to whether a certain beloved 
werewolf is all he seems.

Since there is a restaurant not far from me called Crow, I thought it 
would be easier and pleasanter for the crow-eaters to consume the 
dish at this establishment.  That way, they will be able to 
commiserate with each other, and they won't have to go to the bother 
of purchasing the bird themselves, plucking it, preparing it, making 
side dishes, etc.  In fact, it seemed like a good idea to invite the 
whole list, since we can use a good post-DH party and we don't know 
who's going to have to eat the crow anyway.

With this in mind, I went ahead and made the reservation, as follows:

[Roberta picks up the phone, dials.]
  
Receptionist:  Crow Restaurant, how can I help you?
  
Roberta:  I'd like to make a reservation for a large group, please.
  
Receptionist:  Sure.  What date and time?
  
Roberta:  July 22, Sunday, 12 noon, till about 3 in the morning.
  
[sound of typing at other end]
  
Receptionist:  How many people?
  
Roberta:  26,484.  Give or take about five hundred.
  
[more typing]
 
Receptionist:  OK, I have July 22 at 12 PM.  I'm putting it down as 
an estimated 27,000 guests. Please call a day in advance with a more 
definite number so we know how many places to set.

Roberta:  I'm not sure I'll be able to get to the phone one day in 
advance.  I can call two days early, but the number might still 
change after that.
  
Receptionist:  Don't worry about it, you can always add up to ten 
people on the day without a problem.
  
Roberta:  Great.  I'd also like to make an advance order, please.  A 
large number of my group will be ordering the house special, and I 
want to make sure you don't run out.
  
Receptionist:  That's fine; how much do you want?
  
Roberta:  13,000 orders, please.
  
Receptionist:  And how would you like it prepared?
  
Roberta:  How about 3,000 roasted, 3,000 broiled, 3,000 boiled...and 
can you do a crow stew?
  
Receptionist:  Oh yeah, that's my favorite.
  
Roberta:  OK then, let's make 1,000 stew.  And do you have a 
vegetarian option?

Receptionist:  Yes, we do an excellent mock-crow soup.

Roberta:  Then I'd like 3,000 orders of that.  I guess if more than 
13,000 end up having crow, they can always share.
  
Receptionist:  They're welcome to, but bear in mind there's a $2.00 
sharing charge.  Any other special orders?
  
Roberta:  No thanks, the rest of us will be ordering off the menu.
  
Receptionist:  And whose name is the reservation under?
  
Roberta:  Harry Potter.
  
Receptionist:  Thanks very much, Ms. Potter, we look forward to 
seeing you on July 22.

[click]

Roberta, waving to the List Elf who encouraged me to post this, some 
months ago.  (She knows who she is.)