[HPFGU-OTChatter] Re: When does a kid become a grownup?

[Margaret Fenney]

>> Carol wrote:

> >> But, as I said, I'm not interested in the legal aspects. I'm interested
> in emotional maturity and the simple readiness to take on adult
> responsibilities. I
> >> So, please. Let's look at the question I asked. *Setting aside the
> complicated legalities*, when, in anyone's opinion, is a young person
> emotionally, mentally, and morally ready to take on the responsibilities of
> adulthood? Obviously, it varies with the individual, but in general?
>
>  __._,_.__
>
Margie:

I'm sorry, but I think you are asking a question that isn't answerable.
Maturity occurs over time on many levels in many areas.  It does, as you
said, vary greatly from person to person and the only reason to generalize
it and establish "an age of majority" is for legal purposes, in order to
govern the rights and responsibilities of individuals in society.

I will also point out that maturity in a given area often occurs only when
the individual has that responsibility or demand thrust upon them.  I was 13
when my mother died and had to take over the running of our home including
doing all of the shopping for groceries, clothes, etc (using my own set of
credit cards), paying bills, cooking, taking care of my siblings, all of the
Christmas stuff, the whole bit.  Was I ready?  No!  But I did what I had to
do.  I had my own children at 28.  Given my early maturity in housekeeping,
was I ready to be a parent?  No!  But I did what I had to do.

My twin sons are currently 25 years old.  They are college graduates who
started a business 3 years ago and have worked very hard and made many
sacrifices to make it a going concern.  I can not tell you how many times
over the last 8 - 9 years I have been surprised at their maturity one moment
and amazed at their lack of maturity the next.  The dichotomy between the
two has been a constant source of humor and head-shaking for me and my
husband.

In my opinion, it is not possible to determine an accurate "age of
emotional, mental and moral maturity" for a single individual, much less for
an entire society.  It is necessary to assign such a point in life only for
legal purposes and even those decisions are usually made based on political
or practical (Is it enforceable, etc?) reasons rather than any true
assessment of maturity.

Just my 2 cents...

Margie


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