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<DIV><TT>
Ministry of
Magic<BR>
Bureau for the Defence of Magical
Humour<BR>
3 March, 2001<BR><BR><BR>Dear Ms. Crustum:<BR><BR>Thank you for you submission
of 3 March. However, The Department <BR>must inform you that your "Tom
Swiftie" was not written in proper <BR>form. Please note that canonical
"Swifties" *must* adhere to the <BR>following formal
structure:<BR><BR>"<statement>," <name> <said, asked, inquired,
implored, etc.>, <BR><adverb>.<BR><BR>In your initial submission,
'"The mirror in the Boy's dorm always <BR>seems sad," Harry reflected.' lacked
the obligatory adverb, and <BR>should, accordingly, be rewritten
thusly:<BR><BR>"The mirror in the Boy's dorm always seems sad," Harry said,
<BR>reflectively.<BR><BR>Failure to mend your ways in the very near future
will result in <BR>removal of the "W" key from your keyboard, and we all know
how <BR>traumatic *that* can
be.<BR><BR>
Yours Retentively,
etc.<BR><BR>
Anal P.
Lardbhottom<BR>
Department of Canonical Swifties<BR><BR><BR>To Morsus Crustum </TT></DIV>
<DIV><TT></TT></DIV>
<DIV><TT>I say we stinkbomb the office of DMH ... what do you
think?</TT></DIV>
<DIV><TT></TT></DIV>
<DIV><TT>Doreen, who makes note of the corrected version of the Tom Swiftie,
and keeps both versions, just in case the original version, with its errors,
may be worth some big bucks some day. </TT></DIV>
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