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<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial">----- Original Message ----- </DIV>
<DIV
style="BACKGROUND: #e4e4e4; FONT: 10pt arial; font-color: black"><B>From:</B>
<A title=pbarhug@earthlink.net href="mailto:pbarhug@earthlink.net">Pam
Hugonnet</A> </DIV>
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>To:</B> <A
title=HPFGU-OTChatter@yahoogroups.com
href="mailto:HPFGU-OTChatter@yahoogroups.com">HPFGU-OTChatter@yahoogroups.com</A>
</DIV>
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>Sent:</B> Sunday, May 20, 2001 12:45 AM</DIV>
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>Subject:</B> Re: [HPFGU-OTChatter]
Confessions of a Stepford wife (was Names)</DIV>
<DIV><BR></DIV><TT>
<DIV><BR><BR>But as an African American woman, I have an interesting
observation<BR>about titles that has been confirmed by other women of color,
but my<BR>white friends look at me blankly when I speak about it. I wear
wedding<BR>rings. They are not ostentatious, but readily visible.
While I flatter<BR>myself that I have a somewhat youthful appearence, nobody
is gonna<BR>mistake me for a teenager or a twenty-something. However,
people insist<BR>on calling me "Miss." It even seems to happen more
frequently when I am<BR>with my children. I have learned to draw myself
up and say, "I am MRS.<BR>Hugonnet." Often the perpetrator looks
flustered and corrects<BR>him/herself, but sometimes it's glossed over or the
person acts as<BR>though they have been offended. But it is a subtle
form of disrepect<BR>that I find offensive and puzzling.</DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2>Interesting that I have had the opposite
problem. Perhaps it's because I'm a teacher and no matter how young a
teacher is, kids see them as old and if you're old you must be married.
One time, after I explained that I couldn't participate in the blood drive
because I was very squeamish and was afraid I would feel too faint to drive
home, a student asked why my husband couldn't come pick me up. He was
very shocked to hear that I didn't have one. Another time, my mom was
telling a former student's mother that I had moved to Georgia to finish my
degree and the woman asked "Did her husband go with her?" My very amused
mom called me later and wanted to know all about this secret
husband.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2>(snip)</FONT></DIV>
<DIV></TT><TT>The title they really need to do something about is Mom.
Give us<BR>another way of distinguishing ourselves. Ever hear a kid say
"Mommy" in<BR>a store and see 30 women turn
around.<BR><BR>oneofacrowd<BR>mrsdrpamelabarrigherhugonnet<BR></TT></DIV>
<DIV><TT>I'm 30 years old and the only daughter who happens to work at the
sameschool her mother does, yet I can be right behind my mom at school
calling "Mom! Mom!" and she won't turn around. I have to call her
"Betty," before it registers that someone is trying to get her
attention. Though, one student, after hearing me call her by her first
name, admonished me "You should call your mother 'mom'!"</TT></DIV>
<DIV><TT></TT></DIV>
<DIV><TT><FONT face=Arial
size=2>ender</FONT></DIV></TT></BLOCKQUOTE></BODY></HTML>