Around the channels with Harry Potter (humor)

[nlpnt at yahoo.com]

No: HPFGUIDX 7024

8:00 PM

13- CNN- Ministry of Magic press conference. Minister Fudge explains 
that "You-Know-Who" has *not* returned. Followed by rebuttal by 
Prof.A.Dumbledore, who explains that by this point "You-Know-WHAT" 
might be more accurate.

18- Animal Planet- On the trail of the Nuclear Elephant with 
Rubeus "Croc Hunter" Hagrid.

23- Lifetime- "As If By Magic; The J.K. Rowling Story". Screenplay by 
Rita Skeeter. Starring Rosie O'Donnell.

27- ESPN- Pro Quidditch- Chudley Cannons vs. Salem Roasters (what's 
an ocean when you can Apparate?)

30- Public Access- Stouffer Street- Brought to you by the letters "K" 
and "U" and the number "7" (which Stouffer claims to have invented in 
1988, 1975 and 1979, respectively).

35- Comedy Central- Trelawney TV- Sybill Trelawney predicts the U.S 
Presidential election-  Al Gore by a clear landslide! (repeat of 
previous broadcast)

37- Shopping Channel- Blowout sale of "Harry Potter" crystals and 
Beacham books!!!! Don't miss it!!!! 

42- Speedvision- Which Broomstick TV- A-to-B and Quidditch testing of 
new Nimbus 2002 vs. Firebolt. Also; Firestone twig recall-Are You 
Safe In The Air?

44- All-Talk Channel- Gilderoy! (cancelled. Replacement show TBA)