Warner's Legal Hacks (filk)

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 7599

Did anyone see the article in Thursday's Wall Street Journal about 
Warner Brothers?  The studio has launched a concerted effort to close 
down Harry Potter-related websites if they think that their (ha-ha) 
intellectual property rights to their $250 gazillion dollar cinematic 
extravaganza might be somehow be ameliorated by the efforts of  some 
15-year-old fan (especially sites with attractive domain names). The 
article gave several examples of teen fans who were being 
threatened (via e-mail and fax) with legal action if they either 
refused to close down the site or remove certain material.  In some 
cases, they offered to allow the youth to continue the site, but only 
with the provision that they retain complete editorial control over 
it's content.   If no one else posts it, I'll see if I can get a copy 
from my wife (she has the WSJ at her office).  The article angered me 
(yeah, I know it's standard business practice), but it did result in 
a new filk (imagine that's being sung by the 'toon Warners Brothers, 
Yakko and Wakko, along with their new sidekick from Slytherin, Drakko)

Warner Legal Hacks

(to the Theme from Animaniacs)

It's time for Warner's legal hacks!
We're litigious to the max!
You fans are such sad sacks
You'll be knocked flat on your backs 
By our legal team's attacks!

The books of JK Rowling fill a million hearts with joy
But Harry's like our house-elf now, he's under our employ
Violate our copyright, your website we'll destroy
And, Harry, when we're through with you, you'll be just like Malfoy!

We're the Warner legal team
To augment our new regime
It is now our current scheme
To make all webmasters scream
Who've a Harry Potter theme

We've bought up all the Hogwarts rights, we're on the Potter throne
You can't say "Quidditch," "Dumbledore," or even  "Sorcerer's Stone"
If your domain has an HP name, then that URL we now own
And don't Doubt we can Fire you, and leave you Home Alone! 

We're the Warner's lawyer-hex
Our bosses sign enormous checks
Toward our campaign to annex
Potter for your multiplex
We're Warner Legal
Not overly regal
    - Voyage of  the Beagle
    - Joanthan L. Seagull                    
    - Son of Sam Spiegel
    - Landed has the Eagle
     - National League'll
      - Clinton Fatigue'll
     - Industrial Intrigue'll* 
Warner Legal Hacks!
Watch for our fax!


- CMC

*As Animaniacs fans are aware, the penultimate line of their 
theme song usually changed with each new rendition ( "We're 
Animainy/Totally Insaney"/ then, "Shirley MacLainey", "Citizen 
Kaney", "Andromeda Strainy" "the rain in Spainy", etc).