[OT] Opposite sex best friends

[milz]

No: HPFGUIDX 3535

--- In HPforGrownups at egroups.com, "Firebolt" <particle at u...> wrote:
> > But here's a *real-life* question. How many people here had an
> > opposite sex best friend when they were Harry's age (12-14 years)
> > that
> > was comparable to the Hermione-Harry-Ron friendship? I can speak 
only
> > from my experience, but I don't recall very many boy-girl best
> > friends
> > when I was in my early teens. Those friendships were common when I
> > was
> > about 5 or 6 (my best friend at that age was a boy named Mark), 
but
> > they fizzled when the boy and girl began to bond with same sex
> > friends.
> 
> Yes! I did and I do! From when I was 7 to when I was 12, 3 of my 4 
best
> friends were guys, and two of them were schoolmates with whom I
made 
an
> absolutely unseperable trio. And now that I look back on it, I 
believe I was
> the good-grades-getter of the group - although we were a lot more
> competitive than Harry, Ron, and Hermione. Then, I moved out of the 
States,
> and spend two years friendless, apart from a fair-weather friend who
> probably only befriended me because I was the smart girl with good 
grades
> who sat next to her and might help out in class. Then another year 
at a new
> school, changing classes in the middle of the year just when I was 
beginning
> to make friends. Just this school year, I met a bunch of new 
kids/kids from
> other classes and actually have close friends for the first time in 
several
> years outside of summer camp. One of them is a guy, and I actually 
think I
> get along with him the best.
> 
> So although I have fewer guy friends now, I don't quite agree that 
intersex,
> platonic friendships kind of fade away in adolescence. I do agree 
that
> they're a lot likelier to be misinterpreted, though. As in 
conversations
> like 'Hey, are you and Patrick a couple?' 'No!' 'I don't believe 
you...'
> 'nnngh...'.
> 
> Apologies for the rambling,
> Firebolt

              Raises hand & waves it in the air frantically!  Yes, I 
had more male
              friends than female from about 7th grade (age 12/13)
on. 
 My 2 best male
              friends from jr high & high school were attendants in
my 
wedding.  I
              also had & have close female friendships, but my male 
best friends have
              been more consistently a part of my life I would say.  
I've been friends
              with them for more than half my life now.  I don't
think 
either that it
              was *that* rare.  I know lots of women who had close 
male friends in
              that time period & are my generation & earlier.

              Penny

Gotta hand it to you, Penny. You and your boy best friends managed to 
stay friends. And Firebolt, my friendship with Mark lasted until were 
were in the 3rd grade when he started hanging around a group of boys 
who thought it was "uncool" to hang around girls (my problem was I 
threw baseballs "like a girl" *sigh*). However, I do agree with you 
that platonic friendships do and can exist in adulthood. One of my 
best friends now is a man. 

But you have to admit from what we know of the Hogwarts community, 
there aren't many opposite sex best friends relationships. The
Weasley 
Twins' best friend is identified as Lee Jordan, not Angelina and/or 
Katie. Seamus Finnagan's best friend is Dean Thomas (noted in GoF), 
not Parvati and/or Lavender. Pansy Parkinson might be in the 
peripheral Malfoy-Crabbe-Goyle gang, but that gang is never
identified 
as M-C-G and Parkinson. 

Since the books are from Harry's point of view, we see the characters 
in *that* way. For example, what if the books were written from 
Neville's point of view. Harry and Ron might be characterized as 
friendly but snobby in the sense that they don't like hanging around 
Neville. The Weasley Twins might be portrayed as 
torturously mischievious . Hermione might be portrayed as friendly, 
but in an "out of pity" way. Professor Sprout might be portrayed as 
the best and most supportive teacher at Hogwarts, next to Lupin. 

Furthermore, I really don't see anything wrong with Harry having more 
strong male role models than female ones. Recall, Harry's male role 
model had been Vernon Dursley until he arrived at Hogwarts. Harry, 
himself, knew Uncle Vernon didn't represent the ideal male. It's only 
natural that Harry's Hogwarts world is populated with unDursley
males, 
since the Hogwarts world is an alternate reality to the Muggle world.
 
:-) Milz