In defense of Ron

[drmm at fuuko.com]

No: HPFGUIDX 4867

--- In HPforGrownups at egroups.com, eggplant88 at h... wrote:
> The only time I found Ron really obnoxious was when he had a fight 
> with his best friend, a friend who had saved his sister's life, a 
> friend who had demonstrated a willingness to risk his own life to 
> save Ron too. I understand why he had the fight, he was jealous of 
> Harry, and I understand why he was jealous, he was insecure; however 
> understanding why somebody is obnoxious does not make him one bit 
> less obnoxious.

I guess that's where we disagree.  I've always found that understanding 
someone's motivations is fundamental to my perception of the character.  
I think that's why I have the tendency to get annoyed with Hermione.  I 
can't understand her motivations the way I've been able to see Ron's.  
IMO, her personality hasn't been explored enough for me to understand. 
I don't think that all her actions are driven by the desire for 
academic success (although I'm sure that's part of it).  I don't know 
what *else* drives her so I find myself irritated.  And just because I 
say I understand someone's actions doesn't mean I think they're 
justified.  For the record, my favorite character is Snape (not Ron).  
I think Snape is a complete and utter bastard.  However, because I 
believe that there's more to *why* he acts like a complete and utter 
bastard, I find him a fascinating character.  Therefore, I can't loathe 
and despise him the way a lot of people (including one of my best 
friends) do.

And remember, I've never said that Ron was justified in what he did.  
I've just tried to say that his actions, considering his childhood, is 
understandable.  I also think that Ron would have come and apoligized 
sooner had Harry not done things that exacerbated the situation.  In 
the scene in the common room, it appeared that Ron seemed ready to talk 
to Harry again (and perhaps apoligize) until Harry started yelling at 
him. And again, I understand why Harry's upset with Ron at the moment 
too -- so don't take that as an insult to Harry.

> It's hard for me to get very weepy over Ron's early years, everybody 
> has problems growing up but it seems to me Ron's childhood was 
> wonderful, as close to being perfect as anybody ever had. Harry's 
> childhood on the other hand was a pure undiluted nightmare, but that 
> would never make him let down a friend when he needed it most. Harry 
> has forgiven Ron so I guess I should too, but he should have the good 
> grace to be thoroughly ashamed of himself.

I'm quite positive Ron was ashamed of himself.  I think that also 
contributed to his reluctance to speak to Harry again after the initial 
fight. People with tempers usually calm down quickly (although Ron does 
seem to hold a grudge) and recognize that they made an ass out of 
themselves (note: this also comes from experience). And when you 
realize that, it's terribly hard to a) admit it and b) speak to the 
person and as for apoligizing . . . that's even worse.

As for the difference between Ron and Harry's childhood, I'm not saying 
Harry didn't have a horrible one or Ron didn't have a good one . . . 
I'm just saying that Ron's childhood wasn't perfect, and that a lot of 
Ron's insecurites are a result of his "almost perfect" childhood.

One thing I find interesting in the Ron/Harry friendship is the 
differences in their perceptions.  I think Harry has an idealistic view 
of Ron's childhood.  He sees Mrs. Weasley as the ideal, loving mother 
and Ron's family in general as something he never had, and longs for 
it.  He is unable to recognize that Ron's family *isn't* perfect.  As a 
result, I don't think he can understand Ron's point of view. On the 
other hand, Ron has an idealistic view of Harry's fame. He doesn't 
realize that there are problems, as well as advantages, of being 
famous.  He also doesn't see that Harry resents his fame to a certain 
extent because to Harry, it's a reminder of the family he lost. 

Ron resents his family because to him, they're a reminder of the 
attention he never had.  Harry has the attention he's always desired 
and so he envys it.  Harry resents his fame because to him, it 
represents the family he never had.  Ron has the family life Harry 
never had, so Harry's envious of it.  There's a wonderful irony in 
that.

And for the record, I think I'd like Harry *much* better if I could see 
some longer lasting effect of the emotional trauma of his childhood.  
Once Harry's gone from the Dursley's he doesn't seem to be affected by 
them at all. It all seems so like a caricature that I have a hard time 
taking it seriously.

Wow.  I'm verbose today. :)

DrMM