LOON, Lockhart, funniest scene

[joym999 at aol.com]

No: HPFGUIDX 16180

(I am sorry if 2 versions of this post somehow appear, I tried 
posting it before but it seemed to disappear so I am trying it again.)

In reference to recent posts about L.O.O.N, the League Of Obsessive 
Nitpickers, I want to point out to Haggridd that it was Amy Z, not I 
who proposed him for membership but I heartily concur.  Anyone else 
wishing to join should know that we have an entrance exam consisting 
of 2 questions.  For the first question, you will be locked in a 
small room with only a desk, a chair, and a computer with no Internet 
connection.  You will type out, verbatim, one full chapter of one of 
the four Harry Potter books, which we will pick at random.  For the 
second question, you will write an essay, a minimum of 10 pages long, 
on "Obvious Errors Made by J.K. Rowling in the Harry Potter Books." 
At least 2 pages of this essay will be dedicated to a discussion of 
the evidence, both pro and con, for JKR's claim that there are 1000 
students at Hogwarts.  The entrance exam is waived for anyone 
maintaining a website with more than 100 pages of information on the 
HP books, or for anyone who has written a treatise of over 50,000 
words with a title such as "Who Harry Potter is Really In Love With – 
Cho, Hermione, Ginny, Ron or the Firebolt."

As for the question of why Dumbledore hired a dolt like Lockhart, 
having been in the unfortunate position of having to hire staff, I 
have to say that it is very, very difficult to tell, on the basis of 
interviews and resumes, whether or not someone is qualified to do 
their job.  Lockhart probably doesn't look bad on paper – author of 
dozens of books about fighting evil and dangerous creatures.  Besides 
which, he was the only applicant and so better than nothing.  After 
all, he did teach his students not to let pixies loose.  I've had 
worse teachers.

And the funniest scene question, which is a tough one, since there 
are so many.  But I love the subtle and dry humor in this scene:

   Professor Trelawney hesitated, then lowered herself into the empty 
chair, eyes shut and mouth clenched tight, as though expecting a 
thunderbolt to hit the table,  Professor McGonagall poked a large 
spoon into the nearest tureen.
   "Tripe, Sibyll?"


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    /   \       Joywitch M. Curmudgeon
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  "How come the Muggles don't hear the bus?" said Harry.
  "Them!" said Stan contemptuously.  "Don't listen properly, do 
they?  Don't look properly either.  Never notice nuffink, they don'."

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