Ron's stubbornness

[Indigo]

No: HPFGUIDX 16410

--- In HPforGrownups at y..., arabella at s... wrote:
> > > Ron did TRY to make up with Harry before the first task. But 
Harry 
> > > wasn't allowing him too. 
> > 
> > I don't believe that's true. 
> 
> Hmm. I do.  I think that the night Ron interrupted Harry's 
> conversation with Sirius, there might have been a reconciliation 
> coming - if the timing hadn't been so ridiculously bad.  I imagine 
> that scenario for Ron.  It's very late.  Everyone has gone to bed.  
> It's been weeks since he's spoken to his best friend, and everyone's 
> present in his dormitory except for Harry.  Therefore I believe that 
> Ron's objective in going downstairs was to find Harry.  Why on 
earth, 
> in the middle of a fight, would he go to find Harry?  To fight some 
> more?  I doubt it - the fight so far has been mostly passive on 
Ron's 
> part.  Not so much at the very beginning, but since the first 
> cutting remarks, the rest of it has all been cold-shouldering.  He 
> hasn't been seeking Harry out and actively throwing cruelties his 
way. 
>  So, if Ron *wasn't* going down for a fight, that leaves us one 
other 
> option.  I think Ron was going downstairs in the hopes of finding a 
> way back into the friendship (perhaps without a plain old "I'm 
sorry", 
> probably something more in the way of "Hey, what's up?" just to get 
> them talking.) 

It's not really in Ron's nature to seek someone out for an apology 
given his previous history. He didn't rush right off to apologize to 
Hermione for Crookshanks.  But people change and grow, so he at least, 
in my mind, deserves the benefit of the doubt.
> 
> >The way to do it is to say "Harry I 
> > believe you now and I'm sorry I called you a liar" but he didn't 
do 
> > that until after the first task, about a month after the fight 
> began. 
> > At that point Harry was very gracious about it and didn't even 
make 
> > Ron finish saying it.    
> 
> Well... okay.  Ron didn't say it outright.  What he said was, 
"Harry, 
> whoever put your name in that goblet - I - I reckon they're trying 
to 
> do you in!"  Which, IMO, translates as: "Harry, I know I said you 
put 
> your name in that goblet, but I realize now that you didn't."  
That's 
> the first part of your complaint taken care of - Ron realizes and 
> admits where he was wrong in this instance.  (Granted, he does it a 
> little backwards. But hey, he's young.)  The second part of your 
> complaint is more complicated - you want a flat out "I'm sorry." And 
> perhaps it was "gracious" on Harry's part not to make him say it 
> outright. But IMO, Harry's not feeling "gracious" so much as he's 
> being an introverted boy who doesn't want a whole lot of emotions to 
> start getting out in the open. "Harry knew Ron was about to 
apologize 
> and suddenly he found he didn't need to hear it."  To me personally, 
> this says that Harry's not too interested in a big speechy apology 
and 
> tears and handshaking.  Both boys are a little put off, actually, 
when 
> Hermione tries to pull out the emotional side of the situation a 
> moment later.  I think that whole apology-without-apology scene is 
> tense and touching and great.  I cried like Hermione.  I'm a sucker 
> for best friends.
> 

I think for Harry it was enough knowing Ron was sorry and that making 
a scene would just distract him when his mind was already quite full 
enough.

> > >JKR herself said that Harry's pride  was to blame for prolonging 
> the
> > >fight in the Dec. Times article
> > 
> > Yes, I read that too, but if that was Rowling's intention then she 
> > needs to rewrite the book because that's not what comes across on 
> the 
> > page. 
> 
> To you.  It comes flying across to me.  Your wish that an author 
> should "rewrite" her books simply because you did not interpret the 
> written action in the way she intended, is... not a wish that I can 
> understand.
> 
> > I doubt if there is one person in a thousand would be as easy 
> > going about it as Harry was. Think about it, you're under enormous 
> > stress and facing a potentially lethal situation and your best 
> friend 
> > just makes it worse. 
> 
> Ron definitely didn't show off his best colors during this fight.  
But 
>  neither did Harry.  "Easy going"?  Harry chucked a badge at Ron's 
> head and said aloud the words that both of them had been thinking - 
> harsher words between them, I can't find.  "You might even have a 
scar 
> now, if you're lucky...That's what you want, isn't it?"  I know that 
> Harry was under intense stress that night and I know that his 
impulse 
> was born of absolute frustration.  But *what* a thing to do to your 
> best friend.  He shot hard at the very root of Ron's insecurity - 
> deliberately.  And maybe Ron needed to hear it, to know that he was 
> being totally transparent - but it wasn't an easy going choice, on 
> Harry's part.  
> 
No, but Harry's been easygoing about other things. 

The play-by-play binoculars he bought at the World Cup for everyone.  
He was willing to make them a gift. Ron is the one who insisted (due 
to his hangup about being poor) on paying back for them. Ron is the 
one who got offended when Harry didn't notice that the gold he'd paid 
back *with* was fairy gold which vanished.  Harry has always felt 
guilty about having more money than Ron, and has always shared 
willingly and generously anytime Ron's pride doesn't get in the way.  
He buys the goodies on the train. He buys icecreams on Diagon Alley.

I think the reason Harry took it so hard is because the rest of the 
world gives him static about being The Famous Harry Potter. Ron never 
had, and now that the Goblet has come up with his name, Ron's acting 
just like everyone else.  

Ron knows Harry hated it when Lockhart treated Harry like he was 
grabbing for attention.

Ron knows that Harry is uncomfortable with how new people stare at 
Harry's scar.

Ron knows that Harry tolerates Colin following him around and trying 
to snap pictures of everything, even when he falls in the mud.

But still, when Harry needed Ron's support most, Ron joined the other 
team, so to speak.  And accused him of being a liar on top of it. 

Harry at this point figures (to me) "what kind of a friend is he that 
he's going to hold my fame -- which I hate, and can't control -- over 
my head? What kind of friend is he that he thinks I'd lie to him? What 
kind of friend is he that he doesn't know me by now?" 

He was hurt, and wanted to hurt back in kind.  It may not be a _right_ 
response, but it is a human one, to take a low blow in a fight. 

I think this, in part, is also why Harry didn't *make* Ron say the 
actual apology. He knew he hadn't acted like a perfect gentleman 
himself...although he probably felt a tiny bit of justification.

Indigo