Mr. Bagman (filk)

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 23367

Mr. Bagman (from GoF, Chap. 24 ) 

(To the tune of Mr. Sandman)

Dedicated to Penny Linsenmayer

The Scene: The Three Broomsticks tavern in Hogsmeade.  While Ludo 
Bagman huddles in the corner with a troup of Goblins, he is observed 
by two interested groups of Hogwarts students

CHORUS OF GOBLINS
Bung, bung, bung, bung, bung, bung, bung, bung, etc. 

FRED AND GEORGE
Mr. Bagman, we won our bet
We asked him kindly to make good his debt
He paid us off once with Leprechaun gold
Since then he has kept the two of us on hold
Bagman, we are both broke
Cash we're needing for our shop of jokes
Please do not make us get mad,
Mr. Bagman, or we will tell Dad!

CHORUS OF GOBLINS
Bung, bung, bung, bung, bung, bung, bung, bung, etc.

HARRY (to Ron and Hermione)
Mr. Bagman, wouldn't you bet
He's the worst sleaze-ball that I've ever met
He's more awful even than Rita Skeeter
At least she never joined up with Death Eaters!
Bagman, up to his tricks
The Triwizards Tourney in my favor he'd fix
Through him Winky sees right through
Mr. Bagman, you haven't a clue! 

FRED, GEORGE & HARRY
Bung, bung, bung, bung, bung, bung, bung, bung, etc. 

CHORUS OF GOBLINS
Mr. Bagman, you've lost some bets
And be it far from us to broadcast vain threats
But don't think to dodge us, please don't even try it
Binns can tell you how we love running riot
Mr. Bagman, if Harry wins
That IOU of yours goes in the dustbin
But should you lose this magic scheme
Mr. Bagman, bring us, please, please, please
Mr. Bagman, your heart and spleen. 

(Exit Bagman, nervously)

     - CMC