[HPforGrownups] Re: This will probably get me kicked off the list, but .....

[Heidi Henshaw]

No: HPFGUIDX 23539



Suzanne wrote:

--- In HPforGrownups at y..., "M. Barnett" <fyregirl at c...> wrote:
> I've been musing over the "lets-all-be-nice-to-one-another-and-
never-
> say-anything-that-could-possibly-even-remotely-offend-someone-even-
> the-littlest-tiniest-bit" thing.

Uhmm.. whose words are this? Where are you getting this "even  
remotely" or "little tiniest bit"? Please have the grace to look at  
this issue in context. Nobody on this list fears disagreement or even  
controversy. We have however tactfully ended one raging debate  
because it descended into something more than a debate-- it was a  
veritable flame war.  we feel the issue has been kicked to death, and  
in the process a few participants almost kicked to death with it.  
Many of us who care about this forum feared that it was being  
endangered and that too many good people were being driven away by  
the tenor of a few individuals.


> Frankly, if this is a forum for GROWN UPS, why is it that so many  
> people lack the ability to converse in a grown up fashion about  
> things?

I think sometimes the most "grown up" thing one can do is say "It is  
time to drop the subject."


> When I asked about HP and the Bible, I was asking for an adult  
> discussion about whether or not people actually see the HP books as  
> leading children, adults, anyone into "bad" things.  (I don't see  
> Paganism as a bad thing, but that because I am a Pagan).  I was  
quite  quickly and fiercely shot down because "we had this discussion  
before  
> and it created a Holy War".

You were "shot down"? "Quickly and fiercely" even? Or was your  
proposal simply met with opposition? Are you not perhaps taking this  
a little personally? Is it not okay for people to have a different  
point of view or experience than yours?


> Well, here's the part that'll probably get me kicked off.  I am  
going  
> to say what I think.  If someone is offended by something I say,  
then  
> they are quite free to address me, by email, on the list,  
whatever.   

This is just my unimportant opinion I guess, but I am personally just  
a little tired of the "I will say whatever I please no matter how it  
affects others!"  approach to the "freedom of speech" issue. It feels  
awfully adolescent. You have never offended me, please let me make  
that clear. However I do wish though that people could sometimes  
think about what they are saying before they say it, and maybe even  
value other people's feelings a little bit more than this.  I think it is very important to have healthy, sometimes heated  discussions in our lives.  It keeps us thinking, it keeps us  considering other possibilities.  I understand most people think  perception is reality, and for the most part, it is.  But if you  
are  offended by the slightest little reference to religion or to gays  
or  to politics or by someone having a different opinion than you, then  really, you need to open your mind a little and realize that there  are so many different views on life and just because it isn't the same as your view, doesn't mean it is wrong, bad, unholy, whatever.I agree with what you are saying, and I think they are many lively  
and even heated discussions on this list. I think you are making the  
situation sound much, much worse than it is. Once again, look at the  
context. tabling this ONE topic was an extreme, uncommon, and  
exceptional step for the group to make, and it was in response to a  
rather extreme and exceptional situation.  Ok, Yup, I'm ready for the emails from the moderators, from the list  folk, from my list-elf, from whoever wants to yell at me for voicing  my opinion and telling you what was on my mind.

>>>>I would only like to respond to one thing that I myself have thought.  The newcommers to this list I myself being one have never had the chance to view our opinions about the particular subject and when we do, harmlessly asking peoples opionins we are told that is it a "forbidden subject" and are treated like children being told "you know better then that" form the parents.  But this is only my opinion and probably does not count to most of you.
Heidi H.



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