Blast-Ended Skrewt (filk)

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 23688

Blast-Ended Skrewt

(To the tune of Little Deuce Coupe)

Dedicated to "Aberforth's Goat"

THE SCENE: Outside Hagrid's cabin. Enter HAGRID, with a Blast-Ended 
Skrewt in tow. Following, as a reluctant backup chorus, HARRY, RON 
and HERMIONE, each with a Skrewt of their own on lead 

HAGRID
I'm not braggin' here but I'm making folks talk
Whenever I take my critter pal for a walk 
She always makes her impact quite sensationally
`Cause she's so good at incineration, you see

ALL
She's my/his Blast-Ended Skrewt 
You can tell that she's hot

HAGRID
Just a Blast-Ended Skrewt lacking all mouthparts
But she'll double soon in size like the Chicken Heart*
She simmers and smolders and she'll roast and she'll blaze
She's everything you need for hosting *auto-de-fés* 

ALL
She's my/his Blast-Ended Skrewt 
You can tell that she's hot

HAGRID
When in The Forbidden Forest on a camping trip
Forgot to bring my matches, couldn't find two sticks
But thanks to our Skrewt, our dinner was well-done
`Though we got a nasty look from Smokey the Bear 

She likes a Fahrenheit that would melt igneous rocks
But she'll let you take her home and nail her up in a box
And even though she may singe and scorch 
She's a creature for whom I'll always carry a torch

HARRY, RON & HERMIONE
She's his Blast-Ended Skrewt 
You can have the whole lot
She's his Blast-Ended Skrewt
You can have the whole lot

    - CMC

*NOTE: Is the notorious Chicken Heart that swallowed the world still 
an integral part of today's Cultural Education? Do people at least 
remember Bill Cosby take-off of same?

Chicken Heart, The (radio episode)
 - A classic radio horror episode of Lights Out in which scientists 
performing experiments on a chicken heart cause it to mutate and grow 
until finally it envelops the earth, destroying everything and 
everyone in its path. 

This information was obtained from

http://www.geocities.com/Daggerofthemind2000/Dossier/CNames.html